Remember in the old days when greeting card stores were quiet, when all you heard was some piped-in easy listening music. Tonight, all I heard were people opening those stupid greeting cards that talk and sing when you open them (someone opened a Simpsons one and chuckled when they heard Marge dispense some motherly wisdom).
I checked both my pockets, but no ear plugs could be found. So I made the best of it and proceeded to find what I needed. When looking for cards for the most important people in my life, I like to look at all the store has to offer. Some may look at only 5 Christmas cards designated "Mother". I looked at dozens to find the perfect one for the one who birthed me. What makes this even more difficult is that she frequently mentions how I always seem to get her the perfect card.
I never buy cards that don't express exactly how I feel about a person. Some cards will say, "I know I don't say I love you as often as I should..." Well, I do, so that type of card is totally inappropriate. What is with you people who don't say "I love you" to those dearest to your heart? If it weren't for your attitude, I wouldn't have to see half the cards I look over give some variation on this. I'm telling you right now, if you don't say I love you to them every day, you're gonna be mighty regretful when they pass. Food for thought as we all look forward to stuffing ourselves next week.
Imagine my disgust, then, when I couldn't find one card that was as good as what I'd given her in previous years. I had to settle on one that was substandard, in my opinion. It only cost 2.99, which posed a bit of a problem. I almost wished that it cost more so that if she happened to look at the back of it, she would, "Ah, yes. He spent 5.99 for this card. He really loves his mama".
Lastly, can someone tell me why 80% of greeting cards have that sparkly shit on it? After perusing several dozen cards, my hands looked like they'd been spread with fairy dust. I coulda passed for Minneapolis bathroom boy Larry Craig.