Sunday, December 21, 2008

Newly Erected Barriers Attract Unplanned Attention

WINTERS (CBS13) ― A $2 million investment into a downtown improvement project has yielded an unintentionally distracting image, some residents say. Downtown Winters has new benches and new brick sidewalks, but that's not what people seem to be noticing on the corner of Railroad and Main.

Many residents can't agree on what the newly erected, three-foot-high pedestrian barriers look like.

"They look like fire hydrants that have been painted," said one man. A woman named Katie suggested the thirteen barriers looked like chess pieces. Debra LoGuercio, a columnist for the Winters Express, saw something completely different.

"By God, they're penises," Debra said. "And it's a nice sturdy one at that."

Debra couldn't believe it, and even wrote a column for the Express titled "New Construction Shocks The L Out Of Our Pubic Spaces." "I've heard people leaning out the window, saying, 'Love the penises!" she laughed, "which you don't hear very often."

City officials weren't terribly amused when we brought the subject up to them. The city manager wouldn't go on camera to talk about it, saying it's juvenile. Many residents agree with him -- John Pickerel owns two restaurants on the corner, and he's all for the streetscape improvements.

"Winters is a jewel, and this just polishes the jewel," he said. It's a jewel for families and visitors, but now it has an unplanned attraction."It's all I can see," Debra said. "It's like the creepy kid in the movie: 'I see penises.'"

Video report


Eric Curtis said...

This reminds me of an episode of "How I met Your Mother" where the lead architect designed a building, and everyone but him realized it looked like a penis.

What purpose does the ring around the top serve? I don't see any holes to hook a velvet type rope to.

Also, they should at least have the decency to paint every other one white. I hate perpetuating stereotypes.

King of New York Hacks said...

Well i wish my penis had the same water flow and power of a hydrant. I guess New York will follow suit with the Vagina hydrant. LOL

Rocketstar said...


And to Eric's comment, lol.

Coconut said...

So, the guy doesn't think they look like penises, but he wants to polish the jewels? Hmmm...

Sarah said...

classy weiners.

Brian said...

Debra paid daily visits to the erected banner and lived happily ever after.