Monday, September 07, 2009

I Have To Pee

One downside to being a frequent moviegoer is that, unlike a person who watches movies exclusively on DVD, there's no way to press the "pause" button when nature calls. As I mentioned in my prior post, I always go to the bathroom before a movie starts. But what if I go to a film that is a bladder-strainer (such as "Lord of the Rings")? What if I drank too much Mello Yello at Friday's a couple hours before?

A little over a week ago, I went with a friend to Brad Pitt's "Inglorious Basterds" (an A movie if ever there was one).

About 90 minutes in, my bladder started calling for some relief. Now, there was no way I was gonna resist its call; I mean, how can one enjoy a bloody climax if their privates are screaming (pun intended)? I knew I had to go, but when? Certainly not in the middle of a crucial scene.

Over the years, I've mastered the art of going to the bathroom during a relatively non-important scene. For "Basterds", I took off when what appeared to be a expositional scene began. It consisted of Mike Myers (as a Brit) discussing strategies on how to deal with the Nazis (or as Pitt called them in his Mississippi drawl: "Natzis"). Two minutes later, when I returned, the scene was just finishing up and I didn't feel that I'd missed anything.

For those unsure how to distinguish essential parts of a film from non-essential, help has arrived in the form of a website called RunPee. It not only lists the best scenes in which to take a pee break, but also tells you what you missed if you go at that particular time.

Full disclosure: Sometimes when going to the bathroom while a movie is playing, I'll skip washing my hands in order to get back to the theatre that much quicker.


Rocketstar said...

Oh, I was hoping you didn't know about RunnPee so i could have told you. I guess Carson Palmer's brother started the site ( I am assuming with Carson's $). Just plan man, no drinking an hour or so before the movie then go right before the movie, you'll be golden (no pun intended)

Dave said...

This is obviously becoming a favourite topic around these here parts!

Narkissos said...

"runpee", talk about kill joy eh, I'll never check it out! works for incontinent people or diabetics.....why don't you just drink less Thomas!
Dave: yep peeing is obviously becoming our favourite topic here, interesting

Narkissos said...

hey buddy a snitch just warned me about