Sunday, January 30, 2011

Here's Something to Chew On

Yesterday afternoon around 5pm, I sat Indian-style on the bathroom floor while reading the latest issue of TIME magazine as I ate a Smart Ones Fajita Chicken wood-fired pizza. The article that I was browsing during said meal was about the troubles that Arizona is currently experiencing, problems like illegal immigration, an education system that is in the bottom ten of the fifty states, and the site of a shooting that made headlines for a number of weeks earlier this year.

About halfway through my meal, as I bit into another portion, I felt something hard. Weird, I thought. I chewed one more time and still felt something hard in my mouth; that's what she said. I spit the portion out and saw nothing but chewed-up food, so threw it into the toilet (just inches from my face) and flushed. I finished the pizza and began using my tongue to remove the debris that had accumulated over the meal. Just then, I felt something weird on the upper left-side of my mouth. Either an extra-large piece of debris or....no, it couldn't be.

I looked in the mirror and saw that a piece of my tooth was missing; the filling was now fully exposed and I was reminded of the movie "Terminator", feeling a bit more machine now than I was five minutes before. Before telling my wife, I headed onto the internet to find out what my options were, if tooth fairies still come if one inadvertently flushes a molar down the toilet.

6 comments:

Narkissos said...

hahaha....I mean I'm sorry for your loss your toothlossness.....so did she cum....the tooth fairy....lol lol lol.....

Rocketstar said...

eating in the bathroom, on the floor, I'll never understand that one. It started with late night eating, right?

Thomas said...

Very funny, Narkissos.

You know my history well, Rocket. When I posted this on Facebook, two people asked me why I eat on the bathroom floor. Here was my reply:

It started a few years ago when I'd get up in the middle of the night and want a bite to eat. Rather than risk waking the pets or my wife, I'd quietly bring my cereal or pancakes in the bathroom and ingest them while reading a magazine.

This turned into a quiet time that I quite enjoyed, so much so that when we're at home, as a way to get a break from the noise of the TV and the dog barking, I'll do it in the evening. The bright lights of the bathroom also make it extra easy to read in there.

Chris Ledgerwood said...

Still, eating right next to the toilet doesn't seem to kosher to me.

Phats said...

haha oops! So what did you do? Was the pizza good, cuz now after reading I am kind of hungry you know despite losing the tooth and all.

Thomas said...

It's not something I share with everyone, Chris. Consider yourself one of the privileged few.

Yes, it is good pizza, my friend. I went to the dentist a few days later. They put a temporary filling in so that my tongue doesn't feel that there's anything missing there.

They recommended I get a crown put in sometime soon, but I'm gonna wait until I can get on a dental insurance plan that will significantly reduce the $1,000 that the work will cost.