The Last 5 Movies I’ve Been To

The last five films I’ve gone to have all been comedies (or at least tried to be).

The first was “Pineapple Express” (B+), a stoner comedy starring “Freaks and Geeks” alums Seth Rogen and James Franco.

Though the movie gets unexpectantly violent in its last half hour, I quite enjoyed it. Franco plays the town wastoid to great effect (I get the feeling he has first-hand experience in that area).

Sample dialogue:

Saul (Franco): Just sit back and get ready to enjoy some of the rarest weed known to mankind. [he lights a joint and inhales]

Dale (Rogen): It's really that rare?

Saul: [exhales] It's, like, the rarest. [he examines the joint] It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn...with, like, a bomb.

The following week, it was the movie that spent three consecutive weeks in the number one slot, “Tropic Thunder” (A-) starring Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, and Tom Cruise (under a lot of makeup). This was a gas from the first moment when a number of faux trailers were shown before the movie proper, the best being a rapper named Alpa Chino who has his own line of energy drinks (BootySweat) and energy bars (Bust-A-Nut).

Robert Downey is the highlight as a white man who undergoes surgery to temporarily dye his skin so he can play an African-American soldier in the jungles of Vietnam.

Choice bit:

Kirk (Robert Downey Jr.): Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg (Ben Stiller): What do you mean?

Kirk: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...

Next was Anna Faris (of the “Scary Movies”) in “House Bunny” (B). She plays a dense blond who gets kicked out of the Playboy mansion for being too old (27). She struggles to find meaning in her life and winds up as house mother for a sorority. She strikes up a romantic relationship with Tom Hanks’ son, Colin, and in one of her scenes with him, says the following, “My heart is pounding like a nail!”.

The weekend before last, I went to “Disaster Movie” (C). It more than lived up to its title. I liked “Superhero Hero” earlier this year, so thought this one would be decent. Too late I found out that the guys behind “Superhero” weren’t behind (this) “Disaster”. Though I got a couple chuckles (especially out of a scene in which a guy impersonates Justin Timberlake), for the most part, it was rubbish, the worst movie I’ve seen in a theatre in quite some time. Steer clear if you know what’s good for you.

On Friday, I went to “Hamlet 2” (B+); to get the title, it helps to know that everyone died in the original “Hamlet”. The movie is about a down-on-his-luck drama teacher (is there any other kind?) who writes a play based on Hamlet going back in time to stop his girl from taking the poison that takes her life. Hamlet also brings Jesus with him to the present-day where his attractiveness leads the cast to sing “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” (probably the highlight for me).

Very quirky movie, but I quite enjoyed it.