Shhh...don't tell

I'm sure many of you have heard about the above book (click here for an extensive article on it from Newsweek). Millions of copies of it are in print. It basically deals with positive thinking. Neale Donald Walsch, who is the author of my favorite books, the Conversations with God series, was a consultant on this project, so I was quite familiar with the concepts expressed therein (I browsed the book, but felt no need to read it). For those unfamiliar, here are some excerpts from "The Secret", but Shhh...don't tell...

"When you visualize, then you materialize. Here's an interesting thing about the mind: we took Olympic athletes and had them run their event only in their mind, and then hooked them up to sophisticated biofeedback equipment. Incredibly, the same muscles fired in the same sequence when they were running the race in their mind as when they were running it on the track. How could this be? Because the mind can't distinguish whether you're really doing it or whether it's just a practice. If you've been there in the mind, you'll go there in the body."

"There is no blackboard in the sky on which God has written your purpose, your mission in life...your purpose is what you say it is. Your mission is the mission you give yourself. Your life will be what you create it as, and no will stand in judgment of it, now or ever." - Neale Donald Walsch

Elephant Day

Oh boy, do I love animals. You can tell how evolved a society is by the way they treat their animals. Anyway, it was National Elephant Day in Thailand yesterday. Elephants were given an all-you-can-eat buffet consisting of banana trees, sugarcanes and fruits.

After that, they got to participate in various games such as painting and bowling.

For the full video, go to MSNBC (look for the "NBC news highlights" video section).

The Beautiful Ones

I'm sure many of you have heard of the new ABC show called "Ugly Betty".



Well, this is what the actress who portrays Betty looks like in real life:



Does anyone else have a problem with this? Don't you think that a character named Ugly Betty should be played by someone who is actually, I don't know, ugly? If they had chosen someone less conventionally beautiful, then others who aren't "gorgeous" (the majority of people) could look up to her knowing that looks aren't needed in order to be a star. But no, they give the gig to a beauty. What a joke. I also have problems with putting braces and thick eyebrows on someone and then calling them "ugly".

Gonna Make You Sweat

Since you guys seem to be getting off on me revealing things about myself, I thought I'd give you another peek behind the curtain this morning. The seeds were planted for me on this when I was in 7th grade cooking class. The teacher, Mrs. Suchla, told us one afternoon that corporations love selling beauty products, products that most people don't even need. She mentioned how everybody wears deodorant when it's only natural for the body to sweat. I never forgot her words and never did start down the path of destruction by wearing makeup and douching. However, I did use deodorant in my high school years.

Sometime when I was in college, I decided that I didn't want to use the stuff anymore. The body is supposed to sweat when it's warm. Sweating burns calories and I love burning calories! It seems even more ridiculous to wear the stuff during winter when it's cold and everyone wears several layers of clothing, anyway. I've not used the stuff in many years. I guess this is my little way of sticking it to "the man". Now how do you like dem apples?!

Grade School

Ah yes, grade school. We were all so innocent back then.

This is the lunch box I took to school on the days that I didn't order "hot" lunch:

Those hot lunches were something else, though. I always loved pizza day. They just gave you a thin rectangular piece that was fairly tasteless, but, hey, it was pizza...at school. The only time I ever ate tater tots was at school.

Doesn't this pic make you wanna run out and go buy some?

In our cafeteria, we didn't have chairs. We had these huge tables that the janitor folded out and attached to them were circular seats, very small seats for the kindabeeners, much bigger ones for the 6th graders.

My favorite game to play in elementary was MASH (it was also called Dr. Dodgeball). We played it in the gym. A crapload of different sized rubber balls were brought out and teams were picked. Some kids were chosen to be medics. Then on the count of three, teams would grab a ball and throw it at an opponent. If that person caught the ball, the person who threw it was "out" and had to fall to the ground and wait for a medic to come. The medic would help them to the sidelines where they would be cleared to go back into the game (war). If the medic got hit while assisting, they had to be rescued as well. The game was total chaos. I loved the adrenaline rush of it.

One of my most pleasant/embarassing memories of grade school took place on the jungle gym in the playground. Each of the students in our class were required to climb the pole.

You already know what's comin', doncha? I started to climb up it and about halfway to the top, started feeling something quite pleasing in my nether regions. If I climbed too fast, I would lose the feeling. So I climbed the second half really slow to keep the feeling going. My whole class was looking up at me. Some were growing impatient. I finally reached the top and slid back down wondering what this magical feeling was (a similar experience was had here). Mom...Dad...why didn't you tell me that such things were possible?!

Anticipation

It's obvious that with all the movie tickets I won a couple weeks ago, I'll be going to a crapload of movies this year. Here are posters for some of the ones I'm most looking forward to seeing:

This one's from the director of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and includes many of that movie's cast members:

Saturday Night's Alright For Bowling

This past Saturday was spent in celebration of Shanon's 33rd birthday (which is actually today). We went to Best Buy and I gave him 20 bucks there telling him to buy whatever he wanted. He chose the Omen gift set which includes all 4 70's Omen movies as well as the remake from last year. I wasn't too big on going to a movie (just not much on that I was interested in seeing), so we headed to the bowling alley on north Broadway. There was league bowling all day there, so we made a call to the other lanes in town to make sure they had openings. They did and it wasn't just regular bowling. It was of the moonlight variety, you know, the lights turned down, the neon strobes turned up, music like "Dancing Queen" and "Barbie Girl" playing.

I hadn't bowled in about 2 years, but was up for a couple games. I basically just try to throw the bowl smack dab in the middle (who doesn't). There were some wuzzy teenagers in the next lane who disgusted me, though. They had bumpers up, so even if they got a strike, it didn't count in my mind. That's not bowling as far as I'm concerned. When I was a kid, we didn't have no stinkin' bumpers. If you got a gutter ball every frickin' time, that's the way it was until you learned how to shoot it straight. That's the way it was and we liked it that way!!

I bowled pretty decent in that first game. I got 2 strikes. Shanon got one. I was using positive thinking as I rolled the ball (not unlike what the current best-seller "The Secret" encourages. I haven't read the book, only heard about its philosophies. I've been a proponent of positivity for years). Before I threw the ball, I slowed down my breathing and tried to picture the ball hitting the head pin. Obviously, it didn't work every time, but hey, at least I beat Shanon (I got a 90 while he had around 75). At one point, when he was shooting extra poorly, Shanon said he was gonna go look for another ball (don't ya love it when someone is not doing well and they blame the equipment?)

We played one more game and he did even worse (about 62 or so). I, on the other hand, really hit my stride. I got 2 strikes and 4 spares (all the spares came in the second half of the game). For those spares, I was really visualizing the ball hitting the remaining pins as I threw it. I wound up with a 133. We had built up quite an appetite by this point, so headed to my favorite restaurant, Friday's. We got there a little after 5 before it got too busy. I said I'd treat him to whatever boos he wanted, so he ordered a tall Michelob light. We told the waitress that it was his b-day in a couple days, so she came out with a few other girls and sang the Friday's birthday song after wrapping the string from 3 helium-filled balloons around his wrist. His dessert was some kind of apple pie-ice cream mix with caramel (I abstained).

He still wanted to keep the party going. So I agreed to going to a movie (I just received my hundred passes, but didn't want to start using them yet, so brought a filled punch card that I was able to use to get in free, anyway). We both wanted to see a comedy, but I had already seen "Reno 911" and didn't want to see "Night at the Museum". We had both heard terrible things about "Norbit", but were willing to give it a try (getting in for free helped in this regard). We had about 20 minutes before the show started, so we went to the bathroom and wandered a bit.

I was hoping that it would have a few laughs, but knew it had one of the lowest ratings ever on Rotten Tomatoes (9%). We sat near the front and watched the previews. Then came the feature. It started by showing Norbit as a child (I got a few chuckles). Murphy has 3 roles in the film. He's plays the nerdy Norbit, the 300-pound plus female Rasputia, and an older Asian man.

In the first few minutes, I was fearing that the movie was gonna be almost completely mirth-free, but as I watched the first half-hour, I started to laugh out loud (lol) a few times. I was getting the most fun from the things Rasputia was saying and doing. I loved it how when she and Norbit got in their little Pacer, she always thought that Norbit had moved the seat up when really it was she who was steadily gaining weight. She didn't like to hear about her weight, so Norbit offered that the car was probably shrinking. At this suggestion, she said "Yes, it has been raining a lot lately". There was also a lot of politically incorrect humor in the movie, such as this exchange between Norbit and the old man:

Mr. Wong: Remember, black people run very fast. But problems run faster.

Norbit:...That's kinda racist.

Mr. Wong: Yes, Wong very racist. Don't like black. Don't like Jew, either. But black and Jew love Chinese food. Go figure.

Eddie Griffin was in the film, but I didn't laugh at anything he did (surprising since I loved him in '02's "Undercover Brother"). Marlon Wayans was also in the film and did provide a few laughs. Overall, I had a great time and give this movie a B+ (Shanon enjoyed it as well). This film may have led in some ways to Murphy not getting an Oscar a couple weeks ago, but if he hadn't lost, then I wouldn't have won my $100 and 100 movie tickets, so don't expect me to cry about it. "Norbit" is closing in on $100 million, though, which tells me that I'm not the only one deriving pleasure from it. Don't get me wrong. It's no "Borat", but you could do much worse on a Saturday night.

The Name Game

Full disclosure: My given name at birth was Thomas Dick. I was the oldest of five (4 boys, 1 girl), all of whom were born with this last name. Not only was I given shit because my last name was Dick, but also because my name was Tom Dick. You know the saying, "every Tom, Dick, and Harry". Well, many people, upon hearing my name, would ask, "Where's Harry?" Hilarious, innit? I would also frequently hear, "What's your sister's name, Anita?" (everybody in grade school was basically a comedian). I got used to it, however, and didn't think much of it after a time. My mother said she named me Tom because she liked the name (it also belonged to her older brother).

I grew up, went to college, and decided that I wanted to change my name I could've changed it to anything, but wanted it to be something similar to what I had. One Sunday afternoon, while watching the Minnesota Vikings play a football game, I noticed a guy on the Vikings whose jersey said Dixon (he was gigantic, his first name being David). Wheels started turning. So a few months later, I went to the government center and changed my last name from Dick to Dixon. It was the end of an age. .

But that's not the end of the story.

What would my siblings do? Well, my sister, Carrie, married about 6 years before me and took her husband's name (shocker). One of my brothers was married just a few weeks before me and also changed his name in part due to pressure from his betrothed. He changed his to Dickson. The next brother to get married (in 1999), Matt, took the unorthodox (but progressive) strategy of taking his wife's name. (Note: Matt's wife is actually the sister of Carrie's husband, so both Carrie and Matt have the same last name).

During this time, there were many whispers and murmurings that my dad was getting pretty P.O.'d as one by one, we abandoned the family name. Thankfully for him, the youngest, Mike, opted to keep the name, warts and all, when he got married in 2000. His last name may be Dick, but to stick with that name for a lifetime...that takes balls!

Time

I watched a 2004 movie called "Primer" on Showtime some time ago. It's about two twenty-something men who are working on a machine that manipulates gravity.



They come to realize that the machine can actually transport things through time. The movie deals with the dilemma the men face on how best to deal with such a contraption.

A very complex movie and, at times, hard to follow. I had to go on the internet after viewing it to get a better handle on what I had just seen. I found out later that the film had been made for a paltry $7,000. So much more ambitious and thought-provoking than most of the multimillion dollar junk that comes out of Hollywood these days.

If I could time travel, one of the first things I would do is try to find a way to make it so that large dogs (like Saint Bernards) could have longer life spans.

Yeesh!

‘Jackass’ movie copycat lands in hospital

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. - Attempts to duplicate a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges.

The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the “Jackass” movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire.

Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment Tuesday in Eau Claire County Court.

Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said.

After Peterson ignited Anderson, he ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub and put the flames out, according to the complaint. He was taken to Luther Hospital, and eventually treated at the Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St. Paul, Minn., for second-degree burns.

Anderson told police that he didn’t want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt.

Peterson was freed on a $2,000 bond. He has a hearing scheduled April 16. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.

The Best of the Best

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame named their Definitive 200 albums this past week. Basically, these were chosen as the best and most influential recordings of the rock era.

Here are the ones that I personally own (and my comments):

1. BEATLES – SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND – 1967
(I was introduced to this in 1987 as a 16 year old. A classic in every sense of the word)

3. MICHAEL JACKSON – THRILLER – 1982
(I purchased this on cassette in '83. I still enjoy it from time to time)

12. BEATLES – ABBEY ROAD – 1969

16. PRINCE – PURPLE RAIN – 1984
(This one always gives me a chubby)

21. SHANIA TWAIN – COME ON OVER – 1997
(Back when country was the happenin' format)

26. ALANIS MORISSETTE – JAGGED LITTLE PILL – 1995
(Man, this bitch was pissed off back in the day!!!)

27. NORAH JONES – COME AWAY WITH ME – 2002
(I listened to this for the first time while waiting for the midnight showing of the finale of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, "Return of the King". The two are now forever linked in my mind)

33. DIXIE CHICKS – WIDE OPEN SPACES – 1998

34. MILES DAVIS – KIND OF BLUE – 1959
(I found this one outside of Face the Music one day. Very mellow stuff)

39. BEATLES – WHITE ALBUM – 1968

42. BEATLES – REVOLVER – 1966

56. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – BORN IN THE U.S.A. – 1984

63. EMINEM – EMINEM SHOW – 2000
(I bought this one out of curiosity at a pawn shop. It's got a few catchy tracks on it)

74. PHIL COLLINS – NO JACKET REQUIRED – 1985
(I love the 80's!)

76. FAITH HILL – BREATHE – 1999
(Meh)

80. MICHAEL JACKSON – OFF THE WALL – 1979
("Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" is fantastic)

85. PRINCE – 1999 – 1983
(If you didn't come to party, don't bother knockin' on my door)

100. DIXIE CHICKS – HOME – 2002
(Too bluegrassy for my tastes)

103. SOUNDTRACK – TITANIC – 1997
(Love can touch just one time and last for a lifetime and never let go...)

110. BEATLES – RUBBER SOUL – 1965

113. DIXIE CHICKS – FLY – 1999

115. MICHAEL JACKSON – DANGEROUS – 1991
(Hey guys, it don't matter if you're black or white...or if you used to be black and now are white)

130. SOUNDTRACK – O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU? – 2000
(Bluegrass heaven)

132. ENYA – A DAY WITHOUT RAIN – 2000

134. SOUNDTRACK – FOOTLOOSE – 1984
(Let's hear it for the 80's!)

135. LIONEL RICHIE – CAN’T SLOW DOWN – 1983

155. PRINCE – SIGN OF THE TIMES – 1987

158. GEORGE MICHAEL - FAITH – 1987
(No comment)

Rochester

In October of 1996, my girlfriend and I moved from the river town, Winona, to the Med City (Mayo Clinic is located there), Rochester. We looked at two apartment complexes, Rochester Village and Homestead Village. We ended up choosing to live in the "park-like setting" (that's what it said in their ads) of Homestead Village:

We moved there in the middle of November. Our living room looked just like this:

It was cool to have the built-in shelves. I put my movies, music, and trinkets on them. The kitchen looked like this:

It was a two-level townhome with 2 bedrooms upstairs. It was actually a very inexpensive place to live in (about $500 - $550 a month). They didn't have garages as such, but there were "shelters" that you parked your car under so that snow couldn't accumulate on it. We didn't own a bed, so slept on the floor our first night there. The next day, we went to Happy Sleeper and bought a queen sized bed. We still have it, but it's pretty worn out (for obvious reasons).

We did have Mayo at the time, but she was still a kitten, less than a year old. I remember birds built a nest above the light located next to my front door, so anytime the cat walked around outside, the birds would be dive bombing her and she would be thinking, "WTF?"

One drawback is that there was this old fuck who lived two apartments down. He smoked all the time and the smell often drifted to our residence. That's one of the primary reasons why we left after our lease expired in late 1997. Though we lived there only a year, much happened during this time.

My Precious

In 1983, my grandma Ruth (having bought a new color TV) gave me her old black and white one. I put it on top of the dresser in my bedroom. I was ecstatic! My own telly. A 19-inch. I didn't care that it was black and white. I could deal with that. One problem, though: It only got one channel (our main TV in the living room was the one that had cable connected to it). The only channel I could receive on it was channel 8 (WKBT-TV) out of LaCrosse. Oh well. So I laid on my bed and watched some TV. Lots of TV. I watched

with Brent Musberger as well as a football game or two. I couldn't change the channel (and didn't want to go into the living room where everyone else was watching TV), so I just continued watching whatever was on channel 8. Next thing on was the high school quiz bowl.

It was great to be able to watch whatever I wanted, well, as long as it was on channel 8, that is. I loved the quiet, too. With no kids screaming, I could hear every bit of dialogue that everyone said on screen.

One night, I was watching TV in my bedroom as usual. I had all the lights off. There was a movie on that I was quite engrossed in. My dad opens the bedroom door just kinda wondering how I'm doing and such. I'm like, "Get the fuck out of here. I'm watching this." I didn't say that, though.

Of course, when my favorite shows not on channel 8 were on, like "Diff'rent Strokes" and "Three's Company", I rushed to the living room to watch them...in glorious color.

Double Feature

I haven't received my free movie tickets yet, but that didn't stop me from going to a couple movies yesterday afternoon. Both were about law enforcement. One was quite funny, the other, not so much. We first went to "Reno 911: Miami" (based on the Comedy Central series).

I'm a pretty big fan of the show, so was looking forward to seeing this on the big screen. The movie wasn't as funny as I was hoping, but was worth the $6.00 I paid to see it. If you're not a fan of the TV series, you probably won't dig the movie. My favorite sequence of the flick is described below (courtesy of the Movie Spoiler):

They end up staying at some roach motel downtown where there seems to be illegal things happening all the time. Raineesha is trying to put the moves on Jones, but he’s acting like he’s sick. Jones is trying to get with Clementine until Raineesha catches them and they both take off in different directions. Jones is taking a walk to his room when he looks in the window and he sees that Junior (his roommate) is pleasing himself. He runs and as he runs, he sees in every open window that every one of the deputies is pleasing themselves and he runs off in disgust.

After "Reno" ended, I decided to check out "Zodiac".

Two hours and 40 minutes, but quite interesting since it dealt with an actual killer who was on the prowl in San Francisco in the late 60's and early 70's. Since I knew the movie was gonna be lengthy, I lifted the arm rest on my right side and laid down for the duration of the movie (no one was sitting in front of me to obscure my view). Most of the people there were older, probably many who lived through the days that were documented in the film.

I'd like to thank...

Picture perfect -- Rochester man wins Oscar contest