Guess What?

Yesterday morning, having some time to kill, I went to a number of stores. I've been on a bit of a book kick lately, but don't like paying full price, so checked out the selection at a couple "gently-used" stores. At Salvation Army, I found an Oprah Book Club selection by Eckhart Tolle called "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" (I love how the book cover matches my template).

Though the cover price was $14.00, SA was selling it for $1.00. Though there were a number of passages that I skimmed because they didn't really interest me, there were a number of bits that got me thinking. Here's one:

"You are about to tell someone the news of something that recently happened. "Guess what? You don't know yet? Let me tell you." If you are alert enough, present enough, you may be able to detect a momentary sense of satisfaction within yourself just before imparting the news, even if it is bad news. It is due to the fact that for a brief moment there is, in the eyes of the ego, an imbalance in your favor between you and the other person. For that brief moment, you know more than the other. The satisfaction that you feel is of the ego, and it is derived from feeling a stronger sense of self relative to the other person. Even if he or she is the president or the pope, you feel superior in that moment because you know more. Many people are addicted to gossiping partly for this reason. In addition, gossiping often carries an element of malicious criticism and judgement of others, and so it also strengthens the ego through the implied but imagined moral superiority that is there whenever you apply a negative judgment to anyone."

This passage makes clear the appeal of talking trash about someone else, something I rarely do. Could it be that our parents were right when they said, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." I'm not saying that we shouldn't tell others if they are doing things that are bothering us (the co-worker who 86's every new idea you have, the parent who never calls, the partner who never wants to have sex during the day), just that it's hard to see the point of saying something about others that you wouldn't say to their face. In conversation, I like to ask others how THEY are feeling, how life is going for them, not what's going on with so-and-so.

Saturday, March 6, 1993

It was a cold morning. I woke up at about 7 o'clock knowing that this was the day I had been waiting for. I showered and wondered if by nightfall I really would be hundreds of miles away from here. I packed my suitcase. I had no time the night before because I had worked late at Sammy's. But I was ready to go this morning.

Just two days before I had received the news that my grandmother, Ruth, had died due to complications that occured shortly after she had a heart attack. I guess it just hadn't hit me. I hadn't spent much time with her lately. Since this trip was already set up, I wouldn't be able to attend the funeral which, in some respects, was good. I could just remember her the way she was when me and Mike and Brian went up there on our way to Valley Oaks on Monday night. That was just before Mom moved into her own place. Things change, but I realized that grandma didn't deserve to be pent-up in that little apartment with hardly anything to do. She is now free to do anything she wants, including, of course, reuniting with her husband who passed 18 years prior.

I waited downstairs with my suitcase ready to depart. My stepdad, Phil, picked me up at about 9am. I put my suitcase in back and hopped into the front seat of his company car and headed off to LaCrosse. He told me about the breakup of him and my mother, which I, of course, was aware of. He said he might be a bit distant and introspective during the trip. I understood.

I was going to Florida for the first time. I had a bit of a cold, but it was basically just an on-again, off-again runny nose. We arrived at the Lax airport. It was about twenty degrees outside with snow on the ground . We checked our baggage and boarded the plane. I can't remember much of that flight from LaCrosse to Minneapolis, just that it was only about 40 minutes long and over quickly. I hadn't been on a plane since about 1986 when Phil and Mom took me with them to California for a few days.

At the Minneapolis airport, I ate at McDonalds. This Micky D's actually served pizza, but I chose chicken nuggets while Phil got something from Pizza Hut. After an hour and a half layover, it was time to go. The flight to West Palm Beach would be around three hours. The plane took off. I listened to headphones part of the way, had a little something to eat. We were in first class which wasn't bad.

As we got further south, I saw that there wasn't any snow on the ground and that brought a smile to my face. We flew over Nashville and soon were in Florida. There were a lot of smiling people on the plane as we landed in sunny West Palm Beach in the late afternoon. I was feeling a little groggy, so I picked up some aspirin at an airport store around the time that we got our baggage. The airport was fantastic. It had beautiful, light-colored carpeting and everyone seemed to be wearing short-sleeves and bright colors. We got a car rental. It was around 75 degrees and the sun was starting to set as we headed to the Holiday Inn Oceanfront Resort where we would be staying at. I rolled down the window and was glad that I had come.

We got the hotel room and then Phil showed me the Atlantic Ocean. It was a sight to see as it began to get dark. Then he took me to Burger King to pick something up because he was going out with an associate he knew that evening. I didn't mind. I was looking forward to just sitting back and thinking. He left. I took a bath and thought about what I had left behind. I watched a little TV and then went out on the balcony. I sat down and wistfully looked out at the mighty ocean.

It was hard to believe that I was in West Palm Beach, Florida on a Saturday night looking out at the Atlantic. But it was true. I thought about the upcoming funeral that my family was preparing for. I thought about Sammy's and school. I thought about the future and looked ahead to this summer when I can enjoy the outdoors again. It was so great to sit outside and not need a jacket or winter coat. I went back inside and watched some of the Dennis Quaid-Meg Ryan-Martin Short movie, "Innerspace".

Phil said that Walt Disney World-Magic Kingdom was the ticket for tomorrow and, of course, we already had tickets to the split-squad Twins-Rangers game the day after tomorrow. We wouldn't be leaving Florida for another 4 days, so there would be plenty of time to enjoy the sights and sounds of the state. Phil got back late and went to bed. I watched a little more TV and then did the same. It was hard to sleep thinking about the Magic Kingdom. But I finally did get to sleep. I couldn't wait to wake up and head off to our next destination: Orlando, Florida!

(typed into a computer at Winona State University in the spring of 1993)

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

An recent article in New York magazine gives 50 Steps to Simple Happiness.

Here are the ones that resonated the most with me:

Make your bed. Go figure, but outer order contributes to inner calm.

Leave your mouth in that slightly upturned position it takes after saying ‘Cheez Whiz.’ It’s a relaxed, confident look that will convince other people you know what you’re doing.

Collect visual memories of moments when you were incredibly happy, and close your eyes and picture them when you need a boost. The mind needs images to access feelings.

Carry yourself more erect. Poor posture is a self-fulfilling prophecy of gloom. You can improve your outlook and confidence simply by improving your posture.

Never clean your plate at a restaurant. New Yorkers eat out more than anyone, but they can choose to eat less.

Think like a shark, act like a 5-year-old. Our bodies are meant to be in motion. Don’t stay in the same position for more than 30 minutes at a time.

Surround yourself with things that smell like green apple or cucumber, two scents that have been proved to reduce anxiety and boost mood. Candles, shampoo, lotion—anything.

A Visit to the Dentist

For the past couple nights, I've felt a pain on the upper left side of my mouth while eating in the bathroom. Last night, I came to the conclusion that it was emanating from my gums, not my teeth. I considered that good as work on cavities and other teeth-related issues can be quite expensive, time consuming and, oh yeah, painful. But what if it's gum disease? Dammit, I knew I should've flossed more than once a week (I took Zoe to the vet last week and he said I should try brushing her teeth daily or at least every other day as opposed to weekly).

So it was with a somewhat heavy heart that I called the dentist yesterday morning. It typically takes a month to get in, but I could always ask to be called if a cancellation comes up. The receptionist said I could actually get in this morning. Joy. No, I might as well get it taken care of ASAP. Besides, I would be getting my monthly 90-minute massage the following day, so that would be a happy ending to the week, so to speak.

We got about 4 inches of snow last night (Believe me, I know all about 4 inches), so I started up the snow blower early this morning and blew the driveway. I wear earplugs when doing so as what's the point of killing my eardrums over a random blow job? I left plenty early to allow time to get there and while waiting in the reception area, perused a Sports Illustrated magazine that was three months old (beggars can't be choosy in medical waiting areas).

As I mentioned in a post a couple years ago, I close my eyes when the hygienist is cleaning my teeth as what's the point in having them open, to look at the pretty bright light? I was quite relaxed during the appointment; I sometimes tense up during this time. An interesting thing occurred as I listened to the music that was being piped in: as each song played, a memory came to mind, a memory associated with that song.

"Against All Odds" by Phil Collins took me back to Mrs. Suchla's junior-high Foods Class and specifically an afternoon where parents were allowed to help cook a meal with their progeny (I hadn't recalled that specific memory in many, many years). Gloria Estefan's "Don't Wanna Lose You Now" reminded me of my first year in college when both my mom and I were attending Winona State University. Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me" brought to mind the time when I was first starting out with my wife-to-be (1996).

The hygienist did an exam on my gums in which she gave each a number based on how inflamed they were. She said mine weren't that bad considering, but to make sure that I floss daily from here on out, something I seriously plan to do this time. So it turned out that my problem isn't as severe as I thought and, once again, I have to ask, How in the hell am I ever supposed to learn anything without experiencing any kind of major health issues? I've never broken a limb, ne'er stayed overnight in a hospital (except when I was visiting my wife). Perhaps I'll feel better tonight, thinking of the alternate universe in which I have gum disease and a five-inch schlong.

Eating In A Virtually Empty Restaurant

I went to my favorite pizza buffet this evening (all the pizza, pop, spaghetti, and salad you want for $8).



There was only one other party there while I ate. As I was getting dessert sticks, one of the members of the other party mentioned how surprised he was at the lack of people there. I said, "Well, that's more for us" (though all I ever really eat is some thin crust pizza and a few of the aforementioned sticks).

One possible reason for the restaurant being relatively barren is the cold, but that doesn't typically stop people from going out up here. Perhaps it is because on the 4th of the year, people are still trying to keep their New Year's resolutions which typically include things like staying away from fatty foods and buffets. I don't doubt that in a few weeks, on a Monday like tonight, they'll be quite a few more people ingesting as their good intentions give in to the temptation of a Deep Dish Meat Lover's pie.

I've always had a problem with people saying they're going to start a diet next Monday or the first of the month. If something is worth doing, why wait? It reminds me of the Saint Augustine quote, "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet!" If I'm looking to get healthier, there's no reason to put it off. Typically, once you start doing something, the desire to continue it will show up. Waiting around for motivation to strike is typically a losing game.

New Years Day 2009

One year ago today, my wife and I were on the last day of a 6-day stay in Ashland, Oregon. I started up a blog to write about it last January, but only just finished it a few days ago. Yeesh!

For those who care to check it out, go here.



Some of the highlights included my wife getting frisked, staying in a hotel straight out of the 1920's, and being asleep as 2008 turned to '09. A Brit who read the account called me "garrulous", a word I had to look up as I didn't know the meaning of it.

Wishing you all the best for '10!!

New Millenium, Baby

I've written about how much I adore the movies of 1999 here, here, and here. I've also discussed the job I was working as 1999 gave way to 2000. But it's the music from that time which takes me there most forcefully. Before I elaborate, let me just share a bit of what was going on in my life at that time.

My wife and I were getting ready to move into our first house. We had rented apartments for the prior 3 years and after paying more than $700 rent for quite some time, realized that having our own home was a win, win (other than having to mow the lawn, shovel snow, and living several minutes out of town as opposed to within city limits). Our apartment was just 3 blocks from Saint Mary Hospital, so we constantly heard ambulances and police sirens.

Getting a yard for our dogs and cat was a big move-up as was having a garage for both our transports. We had requested that the home be built with vaulted ceilings, but the builder messed up and didn't do so. Since they wouldn't redo the ceilings, we either had to accept the standard one with a $500 credit or wait several months for another home to be built. We decided to take the credit and ended up moving into our place in January of 2000.

For our first few months there, we were the only ones on the block. In fact, they hadn't even put a streetlight on our block yet. Since the basement was mostly unfinished, we actually had less space to live in than we did in the prior apartment. Living a few miles out of town made me less inclined to want to go out in the evenings. However, I did love the quiet and quickly became used to the "commute".

As '99 drew to a close, a friend of mine and his wife began stockpiling supplies, worried that either all the world's computers would fail or that the world would come to an end. He was pleasantly surprised that nothing happened. I shook my head, never giving much credence to the hype in the first place.

Now, on to three songs that really take me back to those days. The first has Timbaland uttering the name of this post at the end of the song, the second song's video revolves around a party that is taking place on New Year's Eve 1999,

and the third is a late-night tune whose video surprised me in that it shows the use of text messaging (I had no idea it existed back then).

Christmas Time Is Here

I finally finished my Christmas shopping yesterday. Who wants to touch me?

I said, Who wants to touch me?!!

Kmart came to the rescue with a number of Buy 1, Get 1 Free specials. While I was looking for presents for my mom and her girls, my woman spotted something she liked. A few minutes later, heading in another direction, she asked if she could buy the item in question. I said we couldn't afford it, but then picked it up a few minutes later when she went to another store. She made it almost too easy.

One thing I've noted, doing a lot of shopping this season, is the look of not-quite-bliss on so many faces. It's like they don't realize that this is the most wonderful time of the year. Sure, most days are cloudy, there's too much snow on the ground, and the nights are incredibly long, but is it not the Chosen One's big day on Friday?

I think that many resent being slaves to the holiday, having to spend money they don't have on things that their family and friends might not even like. You'll find none of this ridiculousness on Thanksgiving. The joy is in simply being together. Being compelled to give gifts four weeks later doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Sure, I'll like getting Lady Gaga's new EP and a Friday's gift card, but does that compare with making someone smile or laugh? Not even close.

As I waited to get checked out at Kmart, I heard the cashier say to the couple ahead of me, "Would you like to donate $1 to St Jude's?" They said no, but I got an idea. Here is how my conversation with her went:

Cashier: "Would you like to donate $1 to St Jude's?"

Tom: "If you can say, "Suzy sells seashells by the seashore."

Cashier: "I can't do that!"

Tom: "Well, I'll donate the buck, anyway."

I did something similar at the movie theatre earlier this year. A lady was asking people, when they bought their ticket, what their ZIP code was. When she asked me, I said, "12345". Two seconds later, she said "Refusal" to herself and punched a couple buttons.

I got a nice gag gift for my twin sisters. They're 21 now, but I bought them each a RingPop (something they enjoyed as 5-year olds). I may also purchase some Fruit by the Foot; back then, they called it Pruit by the Poot. So cute.

Click here for video of our 2005 get-together.

My Favorite Movies of the Aughts

As we say goodbye to 2009, I thought it'd be a good time to share what some of my favorite movies were from this decade (2000-2009).

My favorite movie of 2000 was "Gladiator". Other goodies from that year included "Scary Movie", "CastAway", "Me, Myself, and Irene", "You Can Count On Me" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (no, this isn't a sex film about the famous golfer).

My fave of 2001 was "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" followed by "The Majestic", "The Others", "Vanilla Sky", "Memento" and "Amelie".

2002: "Minority Report", "About Schmidt", "The Ring", "Signs", "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers", "The 25th Hour"



"Unfaithful", "The Mothman Prophecies"

2003: "The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King", "Anger Management", "Scary Movie 3", "Love, Actually", " Bruce Almighty", "Bad Santa"

2004: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "Super Size Me", "EuroTrip", "Team America: World Police"

2005: "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", "Brokeback Mountain", "The Weather Man", "A History of Violence"

2006: "Borat", "Casino Royale", "The Illusionist", "The Prestige", "Children of Men", Scary Movie 4"

2007: "Superbad", "The Orphanage"



"The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford", "Michael Clayton", "The Heartbreak Kid", "The Mist", "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"



2008: "Wall-E", "Slumdog Millionaire", "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", "Religulous", "You Don't Mess with the Zohan"

2009: "Bruno", "Inglourious Basterds", "A Serious Man", "District 9", "(500) Days of Summer", "The Invention of Lying", "Drag Me to Hell"

There Is More Joy In Giving (Gag Gifts) Than Receiving

Christmas is fast approaching, but so far, I've only bought one present. One good thing about all my blood siblings being Jehovah's Witnesses is that I needn't worry about getting them anything. Same goes for my old man, bless his heart. I've only five people to purchase things for: my mom, her newly-minted husband, my twin half-sisters, and my SexyGirl.

My mom likes getting gift cards, but I can't abide giving them. So unoriginal. Jerry Seinfeld once commented it's like saying, "I put absolutely no thought into this whatsoever!" So I'll go to a number of unique stores later this week and see if I can't find something more memorable.

Last year, I bought one of my sisters a page-a-day calendar called, "Why Do Men Have Nipples? and Other Mysteries". I gave my stepdad, a serious Baptist, a Jehovah's Witness Bible (When my mom talked about potentially rejoining the Witnesses, he said he would not support her on this, even dangling the possibility that he might break up with her). I have a Witness songbook that I may give him this time out.

I remember going to a meeting in college with a group called Christians In Action. After a prayer session, one of the leaders asked me if I had a Bible. I said I did. He asked what kind. I replied that it was the New World Translation. He was knowledgeable enough to realize that this was the one published by the Witnesses and asked if I knew that they were a cult.

One year, I wrapped a sample size package of Viagra and gave them to a friend. He thought it was just an empty box, but was rather shocked when he found tablets inside; don't worry, the meds weren't prescribed to me. On a similar note, I recently found a prescription bottle in the basement from 2002. It was Hydrocodone, a pain reliever I was prescribed while experiencing the excruciating pain of kidney stones. What should I do with them now, all these years later? Throw the bottle out? Flush the tabs down the toilet? Keep them in case Sarah Palin becomes President?

Once

"You only live once". It's an oft-repeated phrase, but is it accurate? If you had the option, would you choose to live again? I'm of the belief that we do, if we so wish. This has informed my life experience for well over a decade. To illustrate, here is a portion of a journal entry I wrote ten years ago this month (the full entry can be read here):

December 27, 1999

"My peace of mind lately has been interesting. I go to work, take the dogs out, have supper, watch some TV, take a bath, and go to bed. On weekends, I can do what I want. And all this is fine with me. I don't really feel that I am missing anything. When I have no places to go, my favorite things to do are to take a warm bath and lay down in bed.

In the past, I felt that I should go somewhere and meet people and such. Now, I don't really have the desire. This has to do with my laid-back attitude and the fact that I don't HAVE to do anything. There's nowhere I need to go, no one I need to see, no goals that absolutely have to be done.

I'm exaggerating a bit, but I do have a choice in all things. I choose to go to work. I choose to do virtually everything that I accomplish. Only rarely will I do anything that I don't want to. I remember as a youngster, my parents telling me from time to time that I would sometimes have to do things I don't want to. But I can't really recall the last time I did something that I really didn't want to at some level.

There is also the fact that I don't look at life as so many years and then you die. I know that I existed before I became Thomas **** and that I will continue to exist long after. So I may not be as compelled to have kids as others who think that all they get is one life and out. I know that I probably have had offspring in the past and/or the future, so having them right now is not necessary, although sometime in the next few years I may choose to do so.



Everything is now, and in this instant, I don't want to take care of a child. In the future, I may. In the future, having children is, like everything else, possible. But, in this instant, it is not a concern. Ask me about it next year.

That's all for now. It's almost 6pm. Time to take the dogs out, get a bite, get some gas, watch some TV, take a bath..."

Going Green...and Red

I decided last night that I'm not gonna give any Christmas cards to my nearest and dearest this year; I typically spend $4 apiece on cards for my mom, wife, and sisters. Ultimately, the cards just say "Merry Christmas" and "I love you" and I'm not ashamed to say that in person. Plus, cards are almost always thrown away after the holidays. If anyone gives me any lip about it, I'll just say, "I'm goin' green. Tis the season".



In a similar vein, I read a capsule review last night of a book called "Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays". The author says his theory is solid economics. "As an institution for 'allocating resources' (getting stuff to the right people), holiday giving is a complete loser." One example is that if you spend $50 on yourself, you'll get something worth $50 to you. But if your aunt Winnie buys you a $50 Christmas gift, she's likely to buy something that's worth nothing to you. In economic terms, that's a "deadweight loss". Our shopping puts retailers in the black while we wind up in the red.

My wife received an iPod this past week as an early Christmas present, so my days of being able to brag that I've never downloaded a song will most likely be ending soon. This, less than a week after getting HighDefinition installed on our new TV has my head spinning a bit (but in a good way). It's quite difficult to go back to watching regular definition TV after experiencing the joys of HD. Kinda like having sex with the prettiest girl in town and then trying to find enjoyment with your previous partner.

A Night on the Town

On Saturday, I had the house to myself, so decided to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather and take Zoe to the dog park. There were a number of canines frolicking in the winter wonderland. Kidding, the ground is as barren as what's between Sarah Palin's ears. Zoe can be a bit timid, but didn't hesitate to sniff a few derriers on that afternoon. We then took the trail that leads to a creek. We didn't stay in that area long as it was quite muddy. A few minutes later, I got a call from a friend and asked if he wanted to get together. He agreed and met me back at the house an hour later.

The first place we hit was Wal-Mart. I had a couple gifts that my mother gave me for my birthday that I wanted to return (some winter socks and a long-sleeve shirt). After receiving $12.50 for the items, we headed for the music section. Over the past week, I'd become a fan of Adam Lambert. It started when I happened to see him performing on the AMA's (his was the last performance and the only one I caught). I saw how risque' his act was and was like, "Damn". I chuckled as the show ended right after his song instead of giving out a last award; It'd be like the Oscars ending by playing a scene from a movie. Next, I read a review in Entertainment Weekly that gave his new disc a B+.

Shortly thereafter, I listened to the recording online at AOL's listening station. I was ridiculously impressed by his vocals and style. This from a man who's only ever watched one ep of "American Idol". So it should suprise no one that I was tempted to pick up his disc when I saw it on sale for a mere $9.95. With the extra money in my pocket from the returns, there was no way I was gonna pass up this deal.

Back in the car, I asked my friend where he wished to eat. He said he wouldn't mind Culver's. Not having been there in quite some time, I said that would be fine. I chose something from their "Meals for under $4" menu and looked for a seat. All the booths were taken save one, one of those corner booths that can seat six. Our party consisted of only two, but I always love sitting in such spaciousness. As we waited for our food, I noticed that the TV they had on the wall was playing Charlie Brown's Christmas in an endless loop. Tis the season. Culver's chicken tenders were pretty dang good for the price. We talked for quite some time as the restaurant gradually began to clear out.

Endorphin Machine

This morning, I was reading an interesting article at Cracked.com about immunity to pain. Here is a snippet:

"Welcome to the wonderful world of endorphins. The very name of this miracle substance means "morphine produced naturally in the body." It's the ultimate feel-good substance. It's released into the body during exercise, excitement and orgasm, and it has the power to dull or completely eliminate pain by coating the receiving end of the synapses in the brain that would otherwise receive pain signals from the rest of your body."

I had to chuckle as I experienced all three examples of endorphin release (exercise, excitement, and orgasm) last night. Looking over the Black Friday flyers, I thought it might be a good time to get a widescreen TV. I had planned on going to Wal-Mart to get one early Friday morning, but first wanted to stop somewhere to see what size TV would be best for our family room.

Yesterday evening, after eating at Friday's, my wife and I went to Best Buy. An employee greeted us at the door. I said to him, "You ready for the weekend?" He replied that retail employees are never really ready for the pandemonium that occurs the day after Thanksgiving.

We headed back to the TV's and realized that a 19" is way too small of a set. A 32" set would be much better while still being affordable; Wal-Mart's set was about $50 cheaper than Best Buy's. It was then that I noticed a sign which said, "Why wait until Black Friday to get this set when you can have it today?" Paying a bit more for Best Buy's set might be worth not having to get up early and braving the crowds on Friday for a TV that might not even be available by the time I got to it.

My wife and I discussed the matter before heading into the can to clear our heads a bit. The thought of having a 32" widescreen LCD TV in my home that very night is what caused me to feel genuine excitement. I was a bit light-headed and giddy, something that I rarely experience.

Once we brought it home, I wondered what DVD I should watch to test it out. I settled on the first "Lord of the Rings" movie (my favorite film of 2001). It was pure heaven.



The LCD made the picture much brighter and the colors were incredible. I laughed at many of the same parts as when I initially viewed the movie, something not typical for me.

I watched the first half of the film last night and plan to continue tomorrow; I have the extended edition (that's what she said) of all three movies which comes out to close to eleven hours, so I'll be occupied with them for the next several days.

Before watching "Rings", I walked 22 minutes on the treadmill which is where the exercise portion of the endorphin equation came in. I plan to put even more time on it this evening. The orgasm element came into play a bit later. I don't know which of the three gave me a greater high last night. Ultimately, it doesn't matter as I can do any and all of them pretty much anytime I want.

Hope Trail

One evening in the mid 90's, having completed my homework at the Winona State computer lab, I decided to write something for fun. But how to get in the proper mood? After messing with some settings, I stumbled upon the idea of working with a unique font; a Western-style one, in this case. Here's what I came up with:

Hope Trail

Sunlight burned across the desolate prairie. She walked through the tall grass, her dark brown hair blowing against her face. Her eyes were as determined as the settlers of a hundred years ago.

She walked with self-assurance, her eyes focused and her forehead tensed. She wore blue jeans, faded and torn. Her blouse was red and smelled of fire. The miles she had traveled could be seen on her face, sunburned and dirty. Her heart pounded as she gazed at the lonesome valley.

She thought of the long road that lay ahead, but she was strong, as strong as a dozen oxen on a rampage. She would never quit, not as long as blood flowed through her veins. Though all was lost, she still had hope and one more chance. She walked under the blazing sun as sweat began to form on her face.

She found a patch of water and stopped to rest. Lying under the big sky, she wondered if she would ever see home again. It had been so long and she had suffered countless hardships. But this time things would be different. This time she would fulfill her destiny. Life leads one through many detours, but you usually end up where you want to go. And she was so tired of taking detours. She slept for a long while as an eagle soared across the summer sky.

The Lesser of Three Evils

I just started reading one of the books I received for my birthday. It's about how to deal with change. The first chapter talks about the three major types of changes that can occur in one's life. They are:

Relationship, such as the dissolution of a long-term one
Money, such as the loss of a job, and
Health, a diagnosis of cancer, for example.

Now, it's trouble enough if you're going through one of these things, but imagine experiencing two or even all three at once. This got me to thinking, which of the three would I choose to experience if I had to? Not health as they say if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. Not relationship as it can be a son-of-a-bitch to find a new one.

No, I would choose money as this would seem to be the one that could most easily be controlled. If a person loses their job, there are quite a few options available. Even if unemployment benefits cannot be obtained, it's not too difficult to tighten one's belt by eating out less and spending a smaller portion on various entertainments. Many companies will allow their customers to set up payment plans. School loans can be deferred. Chow mein is inexpensive and sex is (usually) free.

Endless Sleep

As I began my fifth year of college in the fall of '93, all was not well. I had recently been diagnosed with major depression and though talk thearapy was helping, the psychiatist said it would take several weeks for the antidepressants I was prescribed to take effect (assuming they worked for me, that is).

School was a chore. As a Business major, I took a number of Marketing classes. Under normal circumstances, I would've quite enjoyed taking Consumer Behavior, but I sure wasn't up for it that fall. My creativity was sparked a tad, however, when the professor, a Mr. Bovinet, asked us to write up a couple paragraphs on what product best fit our personalities. I went with an awfully downbeat piece, but what could I do? That's how I felt. Herewith is a copy of what I submitted (click on the pic for a larger version):

I wondered what his reaction would be. If confronted, I would just say that I was being seen by professionals. He wound up giving me a good grade on it and didn't ask any questions though I noticed that he seemed to keeping an eye on me for the remainder of the term (perhaps looking for any other possible suicidal indicators). I found out later that Sudafed isn't a sleeping pill.

November 10, 1970

According to my parents, I was born on this day in 1970. Richard Nixon was President, the number one song was "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5. Below is an entry I made into my personal journal on November 17, 1999, almost exactly ten years ago:

"My birthday went very well. My mom picked me up at work at 4pm. She took me home to take the dogs out and then we went to Fridays. She said someone was waiting for me. It turned out to be my dad and, of course, my wife, my life. We had a very good dinner. My love gave me an Adam Sandler CD, a Tori Amos videotape, a cake, and a ski mask. My mother gave me the Friendship with God book by Neale Donald Walsch as well as a framed picture of me and my parents when I was a toddler. My father paid for the meal and gave me $100 cash. I spent five of those dollars on "A Country Christmas 1999" at Target. This year's Christmas will be spent at the cusp of our moving into our first house."

Ten years later, I have to chuckle at the consistency of my gift requests. This year, I've again asked for Neale Donald Walsch's latest book and would've asked for Tori Amos' newest one but for the fact that it comes out today.

It's not mentioned in the post, but my father coming was quite notable. You see, he was a Jehovah's Witness and they are strictly forbidden from having anything to do with birthday celebrations, one reason being that a couple big-time parties in ancient times led to some beheadings (for more info on this, go here).

In my mind, that's not enough to throw out the tradition. It'd be like if a woman slit a man's throat after having sex and a law was decreed that in order to avoid this happening again, no one should ever have sex. It's basically throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

The reason my dad decided to come even though he was still technically a Witness was that he had become disillusioned with the faith after the way one of his sons was treated by the elders in the congregation after he (the son) made a slight lapse in judgement (he looked admiringly at himself in the mirror; no, it wasn't that, but it wasn't much worse).



The Witnesses' loss turned out to be my gain and I'm not just talking about the one hundred smackers I received that night.

Addendum: Here is a pic from last night's (11-10-09) celebration:

A Night on the Town

Last night, the Mrs. and I went to Friday's for dinner. It was strange being there at 5:30pm and seeing it dark outside. There were a number of people at the bar, but not too many in the restaurant proper. We had a coupon for a free appetizer which my wife used to order potato skins. However, she asked that they come without sour cream or bacon. When they were brought out 20 minutes later, it was just potato skins with some cheese on top. Not very appealing to me, but she had quite a few. The waitress asked how many trick-or-treaters we had; I said a couple dozen. She said she and her kids dressed up, but not a soul rang on her doorbell. Poor girl, all that leftover candy.

Next it was on to ShopKo to buy a few necessities. In the beauty section, I looked for my trusty Carmex. There was a supervisor wearing a Brad Johnson jersey who was overseeing the work of a couple new recruits.



Not able to find my precious white jar of lip balm, I took a half-spent jar of it out of my pocket, went up to the super, and said, "Hey, BJ. Where do I find this?" One of his subordinates showed me. As I walked away, I heard him ask, "Why did he call me BJ?"

Next, I went to the DVD section where there was a young guy with long black hair doing some stocking. Journey's 80's classic "Don't Stop Believin" was playing. I was quite surprised to hear him say that he loved the song (he hadn't even been born when the song originally came out). I made a comment to my wife about a movie I wanted to Netflix called "Whatever Works". He overheard and said he'd never heard of it. His intrusion into our conversation made him seem like a video store clerk-wannabe. Sometimes I miss those days myself.

After checking out, we headed to the movie theatre to see "The Invention of Lying" (I had seen it a month before, but was eager to go again). We walked into the lobby and didn't see anyone who we could purchase a ticket from. A moment later, I noticed an employee talking to another employee. After a few seconds, I said "Ding" relatively loudly (I did this a couple weeks ago at a bank when a teller didn't notice me at the counter). It's obviously meant to simulate ringing a bell for service.

After doing this last night, the ticket lady kept talking to her coworker. So a few seconds later, I did the "ding" again. The lady then came up to us. My wife asked why I did this. The lady overheard me say, "Well, when I worked at the video store, the customer always came first, so you wouldn't talk to another employee if there was a customer waiting". The theatre is called Chateau, but it is experiences like this that impel me to call it Shiteau.