Saturday, April 17, 2010

Here I Go Again

Cracked.com has an article online about The 5 Most Socially Awkward Situations Everyone Deals With. I thought it might be fun to go through the list with me chiming in on the times I personally experienced them:

5. Pooping In Public - the closest I've come to this was late at night a few years ago when my wife had to use the bathroom badly at the exact same time I did (we have just one toilet in the house). I tried to wait for her to finish, but it was no good. I had to evacuate. I headed to the kitchen and squatted over the 4-foot wastebasket. Sweet release.

4. Ill-Timed Erections - I remember being in 7th grade Geography class one afternoon and getting a chubby for no reason. I shuddered to think what I'd do if the teacher asked me to pick out a country on the map up front while this was happening...feign a charley horse?



3. Accidental Pissings - I don't have a recollection of this happening to me.

2. Being Propositioned By Another Man - in college, one evening at the computer lab, I met a guy and his girlfriend. A week later, he contacted me and asked if I wanted to get together. I said, “Sure” and we went to a pizza joint. We talked a great deal, got to know each other better. He said sometimes he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with his girlfriend for the long haul. I said this was normal. He gradually brought up the subject of being attracted to males at times. After our dinner, we headed to my place for a short time. We talked some more and he stated that he’d like to experiment with a man one day to see if that was his actual preference. He strongly implied that he’d like me to be the one, but I said I was hetero and that was that.

(excerpted from a prior post which can be found here)

1. Parental Sexuality - One afternoon, me and a couple of my siblings were lying on the steps that led up to my parents bedroom. They were engaged in something that sounded...interesting. I got the money shot I was looking for when my dad came out of the bedroom, stiff as a board and with a smile on his face, and headed to the bathroom. He had no idea.

4 comments:

Rocketstar said...

Woody in school, yeah the good thing here is embarassed usaully kicks horny's ass. All I had to do was invision me having to go up in front of the class to answer a question or whatever and the woody woudl deflate immediately. I was glad I had that power.

Extra Ordinary Me said...

I'm so glad I didn't have to go through that whole erection at the wrong time situation. But hey, you guys don't have to worry about tampons so it evens out.

Dave said...

A few years ago I was chatted up by a guy on South Beach in Miami much to the amusement of my daughter. He was quite a good looking guy of about 30 so just what the hell he saw in me I can't imagine. My daughter still refers to me as the South Beach Stud to this day... what is it they say, "only in America!!"

Narkissos said...

hmm....never had an ill timed erection....always right on time....hahaha....
you know i think a lot about doing a girl...i might one day eh.....just to see how duz it feel...who knows might discover fay woz in the closet all these yrs....
thanx for making me laugh so loud....
as always...:)