Upon waking yesterday morning, it appeared that I'd finally have the opportunity to make-a the shit (it had been several days). Per recent tradition, I took a number of fiber tablets to get me going, as it were. Success! (1) But it was quite possible that I'd have to go again; that's the way it typically is for me. The wife and I had planned to go to LaCrosse that morning and a few BM's weren't gonna stop my ass from going (pun intended).
First we drove to Winona where I picked up my old high school friend, Brian. He was waiting outside for us. I had some more friends to drop off at the pool by this time, so asked if I could use his bathroom. He said his girlfriend was sleeping and asked if I go just go to Kwik Trip. I had a better location: the Winona Visitors Center (this is where my wife-to-be and I met way back in '96). I savored the location for a split second before going to their bathroom. Success, another BM (2).
Once in LaX, we had lunch at my wife's favorite restaurant, Beef & Etc. (it's the only area place that serves Vienna Beef and Chicago-style hot dogs; the stuff she loved growing up in the Greater Chi-town area).
Since we were thinking about seeing a movie, I grabbed the newspaper while they ordered and carried it with me to the bathroom (it was time again). A couple people looked at me with the paper in my hand, but I didn't care. While seated, I could hear my wife and friend talking a bit about me (the sound really carried). After a couple chuckles, I had yet another BM (3) and sat with them for a time; I planned to save my appetite for later, so didn't eat anything.
We then went to a used book store; I was hunting for a Ray Bradbury book, but had no luck. Then we hit Deaf Ear Record Exchange where I found a classic disc from my teen years for $5 (Arcadia's "So Red the Rose").
I had promised Brian that we'd go to "Star Trek" together, but couldn't resist seeing it the prior weekend (fantastic film). He still wanted to see it while I was up to going to the local pawn shop. My wife can't stand pawn shops, so elected to see "Trek" again with B. With a friend who is a big-time movie lover, she sees many more movies than me (recently, she's seen "Wolverine", "Monsters vs. Aliens", and "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past").
I headed for Pawn America while listening to Arcadia (an offshoot group of Duran Duran). Once at the shop, I wanted to start looking for some good CD's, but felt some discomfort coming from down below. I noticed a sign near the entrance that said, "Restrooms Available - Please see an Associate". I went up to the main registers and said to a guy (dressed in a white shirt and tie): "Are you an associate?" He said, "Yes". I asked to use the bathroom. He pointed the way and laughed a bit at being referred to as an associate. I did my business yet again (4) and then looked for some good deals in the music section.
About 45 minutes later, I had to go again, but didn't want to stink up the pawn shop's bathroom again, so went next door to Petco. While on the throne, a man came into the restroom with his young daughter. Seeing that the stall was occupied, he said to her, "We're gonna have to wait a minute". I thought to myself, "It's gonna be more than a minute, Boy". My phone went off and I heard the little girl saying, "What's that noise?" Thankfully, they left a couple minutes later. I again had a BM (5) and was starting to marvel at how many restrooms I had used so far that day (5).
It quickly became time to pick up my compatriots at the movie theatre, so I headed back downtown. As I arrived there, it was time again to "let it go". Since I needed to buy a ticket to get into the movie theatre bathroom, I (quickly) walked to Pizza Hut which was next door. While having my 6th BM, I looked to the side where I could see myself in a full-length mirror (nothing makes one more humble than seeing yourself on the throne). I headed back to the car. A few minutes later, they came out. My wife said she liked it more the second time since she understood it more. Brian gave it a B+ (It was an A- film in my book).
We went to a strip mall for a short time next. As soon as I entered the store, I knew it was magic time yet again. I went into my 7th bathroom that day (including my own) and again did my business. The bathroom was cool in that instead of having 3 stalls in a row, there were two on one side and one on the other.
Finally, we headed to Happy Joe's Pizza where I didn't have to go at all; I enjoyed several pieces of Taco Pizza and a Peanut Butter Sundae. What a day! Thank you, Public Restrooms, for being my savior. You really hit the spot in my most dire hour.