Thursday, February 08, 2007

I love Confucius

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone
Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk
Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke


Mags said...

Haa haa ahaa!!!

Seeing "Confucius" written straight down in itself is funny...I'd forgotten about lots of these. Thanks for the early morning laugh.

Happy Friday!

Thomas said...

You too, Mags!

The complete list of faux Confucius sayings (100 in all) can be found at

Rocketstar said...