Thursday, May 03, 2007

Happiness


In 1980, the religious organization that my family and I belonged to published the above book. At the ago of 10, I was quite interested in what it took to be happy. Therefore, I devoured the book in just a few days. One of the chapters I was most interested in tackling had to do with the subject of sex. There was a certain sexual activity I engaged in from time to time even at that young age and I was curious to know what the book had to say about it. Well, as it turns out, the book was against it (I forgot the exact reasons, but one was that they considered it to be "unclean"). I was disappointed the rest of that day knowing that the religion I belonged to disapproved of this seemingly innocuous activity. However, was that enough to get me to stop, to resist Mother Nature?

In a word: no.

Look at the last 6 letters of happiness. What does that tell you?

9 comments:

the Book of Keira said...

Nothing's gonna stop me from flickin' the bean.

Masterbation is a necessary funtion in life. If we are willing to be intimate with others, then we must be able to love ourselves enough to be intimate with.... ourselves.

Besides, I'm the best I've ever had.

Paige said...

honestly, i have to say I never do it. Never. But I know that Bob does and it doesn't bother me at all

Scott said...

Yes Thomas, I think spankin' the monkey originated with the first man, Adam in the beginning. How could it not? He seen all these animals going at it. He must have pleasured himself, and then God gave him Eve.

Thomas said...

I have an amusing story that happened to my friend a few years ago. His girlfriend works at an elementary school and headed off to work at about 8am. Just waking up, he got out a "sexually explicit" video and proceeded to pleasure himself. What do you know? Not 10 minutes later, she returned home (school had been canceled for the day due to winter weather) and caught him red-handed. She was PO'd, concerned that she wasn't enough for him and why he would need that "crap".

Scott said...

That would be quite embarrassing. Just like transmission fluid, oil and radiator fluid need to be flushed out on a regular basis, so it is with our body fluids. We all can't stay young and have those nocturnal emissions, so us older ones, need to beat it till it pukes.

the Book of Keira said...

She should have joined him. Dean and I love to masturbate together. Watching him do it gets me all hot and bothered and vise versa for him. Also it's great when you're too tired to have actual sex. Although for us, it's just as much of a workout because we get crazy.

Nikki Neurotic said...

It says somebody doesn't know how to spell!

...and I can't see/hear the word Happiness without adding "is a warm gun" afterwards. Which I suppose gives some new meaning...;-)

Rocketstar said...

Spankin the money, there is nothing in the world that could stop that.

Anonymous said...

I tried a few times, but I can't seem to find my "on" button, fortunately my husband can. So I guess, I'd make a really bad Lesbian then, huh. Good thing I prefer stick shifts.

-P