In-Vince-able

Last Sunday night, me and Shanon went to LaCrosse and saw Vince Gill in concert. I saw him on this same tour in October in St. Paul and liked it so much that I jumped at the opportunity to see him once again performing the new songs that he recorded for his 4-CD set called "These Days" (as well as some of his greatest hits). I wrote extensively on the 3-hour show back in October (you can find it in my archives). The show this time was much the same, though even better since we were in the 9th row. Here is a pic of the 15-piece band he had on the stage with him:

After the intermission, Vince came out onto the stage by himself and sang a couple songs with just his guitar. One of them he hadn't performed last fall. It was called, "It's Hard to Kiss the Lips that Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long". Oh boy. Did the crowd love that one. We are so used to him singing longing ballads like "When I Call Your Name" and "I Still Believe In You" that it was a nice break to see him sing something so light.

Below is a pic from the "bluegrass" section of the show:

Here is a pic of Shanon applauding at the end of one of the songs:

It looks like he's about to cry, don't it? He actually did shed a few tears after I took this pic. He can be such a woman sometimes...

As Vince was singing the last song of the night, I left my seat and went right up to the stage to take a couple pics up close.

Fantastic show. Though my favorite music is no longer country (I like 80's, Prince, Chris Isaak, and Tori Amos a little bit better), I'll always have a special place in my heart for Vince. His music was the soundtrack to my life during the 90's, a time when I was in college, had major depression, recovered from it, had my first girlfriend, graduated, you name it. His music always takes me back to those formative days.

What's in a name?

In late 1999 and early 2000 (before they relocated to Young America), I worked at the Western Digital rebate center. People would call in asking about the status of their rebates. I received quite a few calls from people who were irate that they weren't getting their rebate(s) for one reason or another (many would swear for emphasis). But I had an easy out since I could always transfer the call to my supervisor, Mylene (she answers phones for the cable company now). And if the caller gave her problems, she could transfer the "irate" to her supervisor (Scott). Most of the calls weren't too bad, however, and there was actually a decent amount of time for me to go internet surfing. I found some of my favorite websites during this time, ones that I still visit to this day. I was introduced to:

Ain't it Cool News - Harry Knowles, a 35-year old Texan, runs this site that gives you early reviews and previews on all the cool movies coming out.

The Onion is my favorite news site.

Hollywood Elsewhere is written by Jeffrey Wells. He usually has the best scoop on movies that are just about to be released. He's really fussy when it comes to movies, though (he couldn't stand the "Lord of the Rings" movies).

On Monday mornings, I would always go to Entertainment Weekly.com to find out how much money the weekend movies made.

And Rotten Tomatoes collects reviews of the newest movies to give you an idea of what the critical consensus is for films hitting theatres.

It was also during this time that I put on a lot of weight, not least because I liked to frequent the Burger King located just a few blocks away from my work. If they were having a 2 hamburger, 2 fry special for 2 dollars, I was in, no doubt.

One of the most memorable calls I took at the rebate center was a guy calling in from Canada. I asked for his name and this is what he said, "Hiscock...H..I..S..C..O..C..K...Hiscock". I had to stifle a laugh there for a second. I looked it up and sure enough he was in the database. And not only his name, but at least 2 dozen people (mostly living in Canada) whose last names were also Hiscock. After the call, I told my supervisor, Scott, about it and he was quite amused.



I was able to come full circle with this call from 2000 when I worked at the cable company in 2006. At the cable call center, a person's name and address automatically come up when they call in (the number they are calling from is matched with their account number from the database and brought up). Well, this guy calls in from the States and the computer screen says his last name is, "Hircock". Again, I had to stifle a laugh and shook my head. My last name used to be Dick, but Hircock. Come on! After the call, I showed the customer's account to a bunch of amused coworkers and we all smiled, wondering how in the world someone could live with such a ridiculous name.

Scientology

Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley are all adherents, but what is it specifically that Scientologists believe? Here are the central tenets of the religion (along with my comments):

A person is an immortal spiritual being (termed a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body.
(I'll go along with that)

The thetan has lived through many past lives and will continue to live beyond the death of the body.
(Sounds good)

Through the Scientology process of "auditing", one can free oneself of "engrams" and "implants" to reach the state of "Clear", and after that, the state of "Operating Thetan". Each state is said to represent recovering the native spiritual abilities of the individual, and to confer dramatic mental and physical benefits.
(Interesting. The word "auditing" usually has a negative connotation)

A person is basically good, but becomes "aberrated" by moments of pain and unconsciousness in his or her life.
(Possible)

What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. No beliefs should be forced as "true" on anyone. Thus, the tenets of Scientology are expected to be tested and seen to either be true or not by Scientology practitioners.
(Ahh, but what if my "tenets" don't match up with yours? Can we still be friends?)

Psychiatry and psychology are evil and abusive practices.
(You just lost me)

Scientologists protesting:

They also have a "disconnection" policy, in which members are encouraged to cut off all contact with friends or family members critical of the Church.

(Apparently their beliefs aren't strong enough to withstand scrutiny)

These last two points cause me to conclude that they're rubbish.

What do you guys think?

Kick

One afternoon when I was in the 4th or 5th grade at Rollingstone Elementary, I was outside with the rest of the kids for our lunch recess. Some kids were on the jungle gym, others were playing four square, still others were on the swings. I was just kind of roaming the periphery of the playground deep in thought about something.

All of a sudden, a red rubber ball (like the one pictured above) rolled right by me. No one appeared to want it, so I picked it up and kicked it as high and as far as I could. I watched it go pretty high, then start to descend about 50 feet away from me. It looked like it was gonna land pretty close to one of the playground supervisors, Mrs. Schlink. I watched closely as the ball landed on Mrs. Schlink's bespectacled face and as it did, the force of the ball actually knocked her glasses off and they fell to the ground, cracking. Some of the children began gathering around her to see if she was alright and wondering who it was that did it.

I then did what any normal 10-year old boy would: started whistling and walked slowly towards the jungle gym as if nothing had happened.

Cassettes

At the age of 14, living with my dad and siblings, I was in the BMG music club (that's where you get an introductory shipment of several cassettes for almost nothing and then have to buy a few for regular price later on). I remember how happy I was when I received two Eddie Murphy tapes by mail (one is pictured below).

I knew about Eddie from Saturday Night Live and had been looking forward to hearing his act uncensored. I specifically remember listening to these recordings in my dad's bedroom in the house we had back then across from Gabrych park. Everybody was out of the house that afternoon, so I didn't have to worry about my dad or siblings "catching" me listening to it. If you didn't know, Eddie did a lot of cursing on those tapes, every word imaginable, actually. Funny stuff, but I had to be careful when and where I listened to it.

Another tape I had that was pretty explicit was Prince's "1999". I recall listening to this one on my headphones while dad was taking us to a "house of worship" in Hokah. One of the most squirm-inducing tracks was the one called, "Let's Pretend We're Married" (I'm sure you can guess what some of the lyrics were for that song. If you can't, go here and see for yourself).

I bought a lot of tapes back then (I had a paper route, so had plenty of money in which to do so). My dad said one day that he didn't want me buying any more tapes, that I had enough (he didn't know anything about the explicit tapes I had, by the way). Well, it's true I probably had more than 100, but if I couldn't buy any more cassettes, then all I'll have is older recordings. I did try to follow his wishes, however, and not buy any more music, but the soul seeks freedom, so I finally gave in and bought one. The tape I bought against my father's wishes was (you can laugh if you want to) DeBarge's "Rhythm of the Night".

Very shortly thereafter, I moved in with my mother, so my dad's restrictions became irrelevant.

Proceed with caution: This post deals with BM's (or lack thereof)

That's right. I've not had a BM for close to two weeks. So yesterday, I decided to take matters into my own hands...no, not like that, you dirty devil. I had some fiber capsules in my kitchen cupboard, so I took one out and injested it. The label said that it typically takes 12 to 72 hours for it to take effect. Yow! But that's fine. I didn't want to take a laxative.

I went to LaCrosse yesterday with Shanon. We ate at Happy Joe's Pizza and then went to Vince Gill's concert (we had seats on the main floor, in the 9th row! I'll post pics at a later date).

The pic below is from yesterday's show (courtesy of the LaCrosse Tribune):

Well, the capsule didn't bring me relief yesterday. I didn't mind too much, though (I didn't want to be on the toilet while Vince was singing his patootie off).

Today I decided to take another, so took a look at the directions to be sure it was alright to take 2 in a 24-hour period. What do you know. It said that one is supposed to take 5 (!) capsules at the first sign of irregularity as opposed to the 1 I took yesterday. As Chef from South Park would say, "Aww, fudge it!!"

The First Time

Even though I was 22, as of late 1993, I still hadn't ever really drank any alcohol before (I'm not gonna count the times when, as a child, my dad let me have a sip of his Schlitz Malt Liquor). At the time, I was in my 5th(!) year of college and living across from Goltz Pharmacy in Winona. I had made some friends and was thinking about trying some boos. I asked Jim (the resident expert on such things) what alcoholic drink would give me a buzz the fastest. He said the best at a reasonable price would probably be Mad Dog 20/20.

So me, Jim, and another friend, Brian, walked to Third Street Liquor and made our choices. I did pick MD 20/20 and walked back home with it.

The three of us sat at the kitchen table and began ingesting our liquers. I took a few drinks. I swear, in just a few minutes, I felt this sweeping wave of bliss come over me (Jim had said that if one hadn't really had alcohol before, it wouldn't take long for it to take effect). I was euphoric and so relaxed that I actually laid on the floor for several minutes. It was a good feeling.

I don't really have any other remembrances of drinking much after that, though, other than a New Years' Eve here and there. But this story has got me thinking... Maybe I'll buy an MD 20/20 in the near future and see if it still has the magic touch.

I did return to the Third Street Liquor store a few years later. My brother, Matt, was now living across from Goltz, wasn't of age yet, and wanted me to pick him up some of the good stuff. I agreed. His choice of poison: several 45 ounce bottles of Colt 45.

Scary Movie

In early 1991, I was introduced to the writings of Stephen King. I wasn't up to reading a full novel of his, so opted for the book, "Skeleton Crew", which contained more than a dozen short stories.

The first story in the book was a short novel (more than one hundred pages). It was called, "The Mist" and it was quite creepy. Here's the plot:

After a violent storm attacks a town in Maine, an approaching cloud of mist appears the next morning. As the mist quickly envelops the area, a group of people get trapped in a local grocery store, among them, artist David Drayton and his five-year-old son. The people soon discover that within the mist lives numerous species of horrific, unworldly creatures that entered through an inter-dimensional rift, which may or may not have been caused by a nearby military base. As the world around them manifests into a literal hell-on-earth, the horrified citizens try desperately to survive this apocalyptic disaster.

I read the first half of it one afternoon before having to leave to go to work at Sammy's Pizza (I worked in their kitchen). King's writing was so descriptive that I still chilled a bit walking to work thinking about what I had just read and looking forward to finishing the story. I went on to read many more of his works and would have to say that he is probably my favorite writer.

I had heard rumors for years of the possibility of a "Mist" movie, but nothing ever seemed to come of it. Finally, there was confirmation last year that Frank Darabont (the director of two brilliant King adaptations, "The Shawshank Redemption" and "The Green Mile") had agreed to go ahead with filming "The Mist". Now filming, I look forward to seeing what I imagined more than a decade and a half ago finally come to life on the big screen (it will be released this Thanksgiving).

After Life

I've only been to a church two times this century. Both were for weddings (my brothers' and my cousins'). From time to time since moving to Rochester 10 years ago, I've thought about going to a house of worship. Not because I want (or need) to increase my faith, but just to socialize a bit, hear some nice tunes, and listen to an uplifting sermon. The religion whose beliefs seem to most match my own are the UU's.

Here are some of their beliefs courtesy of Wikipedia:

UUs believe in complete but responsible freedom of speech, thought, belief, faith and disposition. They believe that each person is free to search for his or her own personal truth on issues like the existence, nature, and meaning of life, deities, creation, and afterlife. UUs can come from any heritage, have any sexual orientation, and hold beliefs from a variety of cultures or religions.

To affirm and promote:
1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person
2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations
3. Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations
4. A free and responsible search for truth and meaning
5. The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large
6. The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all
7. Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part

There is a UU congregation in Rochester. Perhaps one Sunday morning if the mood strikes me, I will finally attend one of their services. It's just that they only meet on Sunday mornings and, oh, how I love to sleep in on the weekends! I only hope that God understands.

Outsourcing

True Love

I love my dog.

Yeah, I know. Who doesn't love their dog? But many people have dumped potential suitors because they didn't like their dog (or cat). Many people seem to think that their pet loves THEM when really they probably just give you attention so that they can get food. Check out more details on this here.

Excerpt from above link:

They dance with joy when we come home, put their heads on our knees and stare longingly into our eyes. Ah, we think, at last, the love and loyalty we so richly deserve and so rarely receive. Over thousands of years of living with humans, dogs have become wily and transfixing sidekicks with the particularly appealing characteristic of being unable to speak. We are therefore free to fill in the blanks with what we need to hear. (What the dog may really be telling us, much of the time, is, "Feed me.")

Charter Part II

In October of '05, I was ready to take calls on my own at Charter Communications' call center. Us newbies were not put on the main floor quite yet. We were assigned to a kind-of holding area called Center Ice. It was a little quieter than the main floor with less distractions and there was always someone in there to come to our aid if we had any questions while we were on the line with someone.

This big guy, Mike, who sat in front of me, had been consigned to Center Ice for several months, not because he was bad, but because the retention area (trying to keep customers to stay with Charter) had no desks open for him yet.

I worked a 9 to 5 shift during my time in this area. There weren't too many calls that came in in the morning. The afternoon was busier. Since my lunch breaks were now 30 minutes (instead of an hour), I couldn't really drive off to my secret location to walk any longer. However, one of my favorite things about the call center is that they had an exercise room. In it, there was an elliptical trainer, a sit down bike, one of those big blue balls, and a treadmill. I usually hit the treadmill twice a day. I walked about 12 minutes each time I was on it while watching something on the TV that they had in there. I also sometimes used my breaks to go online and check my email.

There were three types of calls that we generally received. One would be people whose cable went out due to technical difficulties. I would not hesitate to give them credit for that day's service and set up an appointment for a tech to come out and look into it ASAP.

The second type of call would be people who wanted to pay their bill by phone or who wanted to know what their balance was. And the last major type would be people who wanted to order pay-per-view movies. Included in this type were horndogs who called in from all over the country to order "sexually explicit" movies. They usually ran about $9.99. Most of 'em didn't seem to care which movie they bought, just so long as it showed some flesh.

I didn't get too many angry callers. It was always funny, though, hearing other people in the center start raising their own voice. It was obvious that they were trying to reason with an "irate" person. Many older people didn't like having to go through all the prompts to get through to a live person (one time, after I said my greeting, a lady asked, "Are you real or is this a recording?")

We were encouraged to try to get customers to upgrade their packages if possible. For example, if they already had all the movie channels, ask them about the internet and vice versa. We were given a small commission for getting someone to upgrade.

By November, I was ready to sit with the big boys (and girls) out on the main floor. I got a seat right next to the help desk. Out there, if you had any questions, you had to raise a 2-foot long blue styrofoam cylinder that said "Charter" on it. You would ask the customer to hold and then raise your stick in the air for all to see (some of the shorter girls stood up to make sure that the supervisors could see that they needed aid). Mike, now out on the floor, would sometimes wave his stick around and around all over the place (I was too timid to perform such theatrics myself).

I got a nice repreive from Charter over Thanksgiving of '05 when I went with my wife to Las Vegas (for the first time) to visit my in-laws for a week. Pretty much all 17 of us who were originally hired in September were still working there and doing well. We were one happy family. But as the winter came, discontent would rear its head and our class's numbers would steadily decline.

TV

My two favorite TV shows are both Emmy award winners. The first was a comedy introduced in the spring of 2005. It only ran for 6 episodes (that's all NBC initially ordered), but I immensely enjoyed the humor and characters, in particular Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute. Things didn't look too good for the show in the summer of '5, however. Thankfully, NBC ordered a full season of it for the '05-'06 season and I was able to enjoy many more eps of the show. It's now in its 3rd season and won for Best Comedy at the Emmys last fall. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Office".

My other favorite show has been on for several years. And I was hooked on it from the start. It premiered on September 5, 2001 (yes, less than a week before you-know-what). It ran for a couple years, but couldn't seem to find an audience. CBS thought it to be a worthwhile show, however, and kept renewing it. It won for Best Reality Show at the Emmys in 2003, 2004, and 2005. There was speculation that it would lose this past fall to "American Idol", but...didn't happen.

won for the 4th consecutive year.

I like it a lot better than "Survivor" (there's less backstabbing and a lot more going on since contestants are traveling all over the world instead of being stuck on a crummy island solving puzzle games). It's just a much more "positive" show. I'm looking forward to seeing the All-Star edition which starts up on February 18th.

I love Confucius

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone
Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk
Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke

Latter Day Saints

Religions are an interesting thing. There are so many, all with differing points of view. For example, when you hear the word Mormon, what comes to mind?

Polygamy? Utah? The HBO show "Big Love"? I decided to find out what exactly it is that they believe. I headed over to Wikipedia. Here is a summary of their main views (along with my comments):

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
(Cool. I believe in ghosts, too)

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
(I suppose that's possible)

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

(Jesus will save me. That's a theme that runs through many religions)

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
(The third's my favorite. I take a bath virtually every day. My wife never does...sinner!)

We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
(What about women? You have to have a penis to preach the gospel?)

We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
(I don't see too big a problem with this)

We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
(Speaking in tongues tends to freak me out, but that might just be a personal thing)

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
(Some of the Bible is good stuff, but damn, God really has some anger management issues in the Old Testament, innit?)

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
(I spose)

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.
(Yeah, but when? We're not getting any younger here)

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
(Sounds like a plan)

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
(But what if these "rulers" start taking away civil liberties and become war mongerers? Do we still have to obey them?)

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

(Nice. I have problems with the "chaste" issue, however. I know that masturbation is strictly forbidden by you buggers)

Lovesexy

I watched the Super Bowl halftime show on Sunday evening. When that huge sheet went up in front of Prince while he played his guitar, I thought that looked awfully sexual (phallic).

It looks like many others felt the same way.

Don't get me wrong, though. I love Prince and thought the whole show was wicked cool.

Charter

In the late summer of '5, the job I was working at IBM (through Manpower) was moved to Dallas, Texas. Needless to say, I was out of a job (unless I wanted to live in Bush country). Since I received a few weeks notice, I did have some time to see what was out there. The pickins were a bit slim. I ended up settling on Charter Communications (our local cable company). Their call center employs around 200 people and is located on the north side of Rochester. 17 of us were hired and started 3 weeks of training in late September.

During the first week, our trainer, Sherry, went over some of the basics, like how signals are sent from a satellite and eventually come into your home for your entertainment pleasure! We also learned about broadband since some of the people would be working on that side. Most of us were hired to take calls on the cable side. We got an hour lunch each day. Most people went to the restaurants that were located nearby (Fazoli's, Wendy's, McDonalds) during this time. I drove about half a mile to a residential settlement and walked for about 40 minutes. I walked in this particular spot because that is where I walked when I worked for SNG Research in '04 (I usually try to get a half hour of exercise during the day, especially if I'm gonna be sitting at my job the whole time).

That first week was pretty easy. I was still mourning the passing of our Saint Bernard a few weeks prior, but was dealing with it pretty well. The second week we learned how the phones worked and listened to some of the calls that people were taking out on the floor. I was no stranger to working at call centers (in '99, I worked for the Western Digital Rebate Center until their operations were moved to Young America in the summer of '00). We started taking calls at the end of the second week and, though I was a bit nervous, quickly caught on. The pay for this job was less than the one I had prior, but anyone who worked for Charter did receive free cable (an $80-plus value for all the channels). Also, there were quite a few hot girls that worked at that call center. I could get used to that.

One of the most memorable days during that training period was when a Showtime representative talked to us for about 20 minutes about their programming. She said Sho had a few notable series (Weeds, Sleeper Cell), but were probably more known for the explicit content they showed late at night. She explained that this programming was known as soft porn (unlike hardcore, the male member and physical penetration were strictly off-limits). A few girls in the room were noticeably disappointed when they found out that they wouldn't be able to partake of a dude's frank and beans in the privacy of their own home. Such is life.

At the end of the third week, all 17 of us (10 girls, 7 guys) graduated and were ready for the next step. Who would go on be exemplary call center employees? Who would quickly fall to the wayside?


I will continue this story in the next few days.

1998

In 1998, I went to Disney World, finally got to see GB in concert, and got a Saint Bernard. During the year, I worked several different jobs. In the early part of the year, I worked for Express Personnel at the Government Center (basically entering child support payment information). I also worked part time at Premiere Video. Later in the year, I spent every other weekend supervising 3 developmentally disabled individuals.

Some of the movies I went to in the spring of '98 included "Spice World" (yes, you read that right), Robert Duvall as "The Apostle", "Blues Brothers 2000" (not very good), "Sphere" (not at all good) with my friend Brian Chadbo, Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" on Valentine's Day, Spade in "Senseless" at the cheap theatre (where it belonged), "The Big Lebowski" (very strange movie), Snipes in "U.S. Marshals", Leo in "The Man in the Iron Mask" (his first movie after "Titanic"), McConaughey in "The Newton Boys", Bacon in "Wild Things" (very cool flick), Travolta in "Primary Colors", the 20th anniversary rerelease of "Grease", the remake of "Psycho", Cage and Ryan in "City of Angels", Aniston in "The Object of my Affection", "Major League (3): Back to the Minors", and Swayze in "Black Dog".

The big summer movies got going with "Deep Impact" starring Morgan Freeman as the President of the U.S. The fun continued with "Bulworth", "The Horse Whisperer", "Godzilla" (what a piece of crap), Chris Farley's last movie, "Almost Heroes", Sandra Bullock in "Hope Floats" (boring), and the first of the great movies of the year, Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".



This movie predated modern reality TV, but really foreshadowed what was to come (though, in this case, Truman had no idea he was on camera, at least not in the beginning). Carrey proved he could be just as effective in a drama as in a comedy.

I also saw Disney's "Mulan", Michael Douglas in "A Perfect Murder", Norm McDonald's "Dirty Work", Harrison in "Six Days Seven Nights", the "X-Files" movie, Eddie Murphy in the very childish "Dr. Doolittle", and Clooney in "Out of Sight".

I somewhat reluctantly went to see Bruce Willis in "Armageddon". I had heard it was crap, but it was making a lot of money and I was curious to see what the fuss was about. Well, it was crap. The biggest problem is that there were too many fuckin cuts. The camera wouldn't stay still for more than 2 or 3 seconds. What a piece of shit! For a while, it looked like it was gonna be the top-grossing movie of '98, but thank God it wasn't.

Other movies I went to over the summer included Mel in "Lethal Weapon 4", "Small Soldiers", "There's Something About Mary" (good, but not as funny as I was hoping for), "The Mask of Zorro" which I saw with Art fart in Winona, "Mafia!", "Halloween H20: 20 Years Later", "BASEketball", Spacey as "The Negotiator", "Snake Eyes" with Art in Winona (one of my brothers' friends, Justin, was at this screening. We caught up a bit before the show started), and the worst movie I've ever seen in a theatre, "The Avengers".

This brings me up to August 21st. I'd been a fan of Leslie Nielsen since the "Naked Gun" movies, so went to see his new movie "Wrongfully Accused" that day. It wasn't that great, but at least I got a few chuckles. Some of the movies I saw that fall: "Simon Birch", Damon & Norton in "Rounders", Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker in "Rush Hour" (part 3 is due next summer), Streep in the chick flick "One True Thing", and the semi-scary "Urban Legend".

One movie I had been looking forward to seeing for some time was the Robin Williams movie, "What Dreams May Come". The tag line on the poster was quite provocative, "After Life, There is More". We went to it one afternoon and were totally enthralled. It's no wonder it won an Oscar for Best Visual Effects (they were fantastic). Very heartfelt movie about death and what quite possibly comes afterward.

As October came, I went to "Pleasantville" with the Artmonster, the CG "Antz", Will Ferrell in "A Night at the Roxbury", Ian McKellan in "Apt Pupil" at the cheap theatre with Art (who nodded off a bit during this one), Eddie in the not very funny "Holy Man", "Rushmore", "Bride of Chucky" (I wasn't the only one getting married this year), Kidman and Bullock in "Practical Magic", Robin Williams again in "Patch Adams", Pitt in the 3-hour "Meet Joe Black", Cate Blanchett as "Elizabeth", Adam Sandler in "The Waterboy" (my mom took me to this on my 28th birthday), "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (crap), "A Bug's Life" with Art in Winona (not as good as "Antz"), "Babe: Pig in the City", Jerry Springer in "Ringmaster", Gwyneth in the very good "Shakespeare in Love" (it didn't deserve to win Best Picture, however), "Star Trek: Insurrection", and then came a fantastic thriller from Sam Raimi called "A Simple Plan".



It takes place in Minnesota during the winter. It has some fantastic twists and makes you think about what you would do if you found hundreds of thousands of dollars lying around one wintry afternoon. It didn't come to Rochester, so I actually drove up to the MOA (Mall of America) to see it in December of '98.

As the year wound down, I saw the CG "Prince of Egypt", Hanks and Ryan in "You've Got Mail", Nolte in "Affliction" (I saw this with my mom in Rochester), the WWII-set "The Thin Red Line", and "Life is Beautiful", another (very touching) WWII-set movie.

My favorite movie of the year was also set during World War II (in fact, all 3 of these "war" movies were nominated for Best Picture). The one that touched me the deepest was also the top-grossing movie of the year and its director (Spielberg) was no stranger to my best-of lists. Like "Schindler's List", this is one that I haven't really revisited, but its power still resonates.



Yes, I am talking about "Saving Private Ryan". I went to this on my own in the summer of '98. The opening battle at Normandy will haunt all those who view it and should make any who are pro-war re-evaluate what it is they stand for.

When the movie was reissued later in the year for awards consideration, I went to it again. I strode up to the lady cashier and said, "I'll take one to "Saving Ryan's Privates".

I'm Super! Thanks for asking!!

Yep, it's that time again. Super Bowl Sunday is almost here. I'm a fairly big football fan, so always look forward to watching the big game. However, many of the commercials are entertaining as well and one of my all-time favorite singers, Prince (there are reports he has a bum hip these days), is gonna be doing the halftime show. Given that I don't want to miss any of the game OR the commercials, when the hell am I gonna get the chance to go to the bathroom without missing anything? In the past few years, I would hit the "head" during kickoffs or at the beginning of drives. That usually works well. My favorite Super Bowl commercial of the last decade is the Reebok Terry Tate one.



I'm hoping they'll be at least a few that are half as good as that one.

I'll probably be rooting for the Colts. Dori, who is originally from Chi-town, will obviously be rooting for Da...well, you know.

Have a great weekend all!!

Rollingstone

On a summer day in the early 00's, I was in Winona visiting friends and family. In the early afternoon, I headed over to Shanon's place. He wasn't home at the time, so I tried to think of something interesting to do to pass the time. Hmm. Rollingstone. I could go to the small town that I lived in as a child.



I hadn't been there in about 10 years. I drove the 8 miles to the town, went past the house we lived in from '78-'84, passed our neighbor's house, and then went onto Rollingstone's main street. I passed the city cemetery and saw the elementary school that I had attended for 5 years. One of the doors was ajar (Rollingstone had since built a more up-to-date school on the other side of town). I hadn't been in there since I was 13 years old. Now, in my early 30's, I wondered if the interior of the school would be as I remembered it.

I parked my car and headed for the open door. There didn't appear to be anyone inside. I walked into the old gym where I used to play M*A*S*H (dodgeball) and eat lunch from my "Empire Strikes Back" lunchbox. It was the damnest thing. The whole building seemed smaller to me. The school had shrunk over the past two decades. Yeah, right. Of course this was because when I attended the school, I was a bit shorter. Now having grown to my full height, everything seemed smaller when, in fact, it was me that had gotten bigger (in more ways than one, well, not really). At the end of the gym was a stage, a stage in which I had once sang with my classmates in a play that we did for our parents. I can still remember singing with my colleagues and looking out at my parents in the audience. The song was about people changing and life changing.

I then went into the cafeteria where the lunchlady had put together our hot lunch meals (my favorite was the rectangular pizza, though tots were pretty good, too, since my mom didn't make them at home). I went into the hallway and then to the little boy's room. Small, small, small. I passed where the kinderbeeners class used to be with Mrs. Beyer as well as the room that housed the music class. I recall how excited the whole class would get when keyboards were brought in for a week for us kids to play with.

I headed upstairs to the other classrooms. I remember on my first day of school there in the 2nd grade, my mom came with me and my sister and told one of the teachers that we were not allowed to celebrate holidays or salute the flag due to religious reasons (I had become accustomed to this in Kindergarten and first grade. One of my favorite memories of kindergarden was having milk brought to our classroom and after drinking that, getting to take a nap. I love naps. They should've continued the naps at least through the rest of grade school, so relaxing...)

I went through the rooms that housed the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th graders. The rooms had a few chairs in them, but it didn't appear that they had been used in years. I remember in 4th grade, everybody was going apeshit over who shot J.R. on "Dallas".



One of the girls in my class, Heather Spencer, said that the episode in which the shooter was to be revealed had already aired in Wisconsin and that it would turn out to be Miss Ellie (the old matriarch of the family). I shared this with my parents and grandma Ruth one evening. My grandma didn't think that would be the case. My dad said he was siding with me. I can still remember watching that ep on November 21, 1980 and finding out that "it was you, Kristen, who shot J.R.". I asked Heather the next day what happened. She said that her sources were apparently wrong.

I went into the secretary and prinicipal's offices. It was mostly empty. But I was able to piece together where Mrs. Rivers' desk once was as well as the intercom that was used to make announcements to the school. I then headed up to the 3rd floor. We had art class in one of the rooms. Another was used for special ed students.

The room that I was most looking forward to viewing was the 6th grade one. My teacher that year was Mr. Burdick (the first time I'd had a male teacher). It was a happy time for me. I was 12 and growing more independent. I was shy, but had friends and was generally a pretty happy kid. One of my favorite books to read in the class when I didn't have homework to do was, "The Making of Raiders of the Lost Ark".



It was also that school year ('82-'83) that I was getting close to the release of the 3rd Star Wars movie, "Return of the Jedi". I was a huge Star Wars fan. May 25th, 1983 couldn't come fast enough for me (one of the first posts I made on Blogger in July goes over my experiences on that day in great detail). I remember a conversation some of my classmates had one afternoon that spring. They were talking about what they would do if a nuclear calamity happened in the U.S. (you have to remember that at that time, the Soviets were our main rival and the possibility of a nuclear war loomed much larger than it does now). One said he would move to Canada. Another said he would stay and fight. Unfortunately, the door to the former 6th grade classroom was locked. Apparently, it was being used for art classes. Oh well.

I headed back down the steps and left the building, a building where I had spent so many hours of my formative years. I took one last look, wistfully recalling those days that seem like a lifetime ago. I got into my car and headed back to my life in Rochester, a life that I quite enjoy, but please excuse me if sometimes I wish I could go back to where it all began, when everything was new, and happiness was going to follow me for the rest of my days.

Look in the sky. It's a bird! It's a plane!

I can recall many Saturday mornings, as a child, watching the "Underdog" cartoon.



I have to say he was a pretty cool canine. Now he's being updated for a new generation. A live-action movie based on the character will be released this summer. Check out this pic courtesy of comingsoon.net:

Summer 07

I bet you guys are dying to know what movie Adam Sandler is starring in this summer. Check this (courtesy of comingsoon.net):

Adam Sandler ("Click") and Kevin James ("Hitch") team as two straight guys who stumble down the aisle with the best of intentions in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." Chuck Ford (Sandler) and Larry Allensworth (James) are the pride of their fire station: two guy's guys always side-by-side and willing to do anything for each other. Salt-of-the-earth widower Larry wants just one thing: to protect his family. His buddy Chuck also wants one thing: to enjoy the single life.

Grateful Chuck owes Larry for saving his life in a fire, and Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his own two kids as his life insurance beneficiaries. All that Chuck has to do is claim to be Larry's domestic partner on some city forms. Easy. Nobody will ever know.

But when an overzealous, spot-checking bureaucrat becomes suspicious, the new couple's arrangement becomes a citywide issue and goes from confidential to front-page news. Forced to improvise as love-struck newlyweds, Chuck and Larry must now fumble through a hilarious charade of domestic bliss under one roof.

You ain't gonna believe this...

I went into a goverment building recently and saw someone working on a typewriter. It's a sound I've not heard in at least 10 years. I felt like I was in the Consolidated offices from the 1980 movie, "9 to 5". There goes the space bar. Ah...there's a paragraph break...

Ep-ick Movie

I went to "Epic Movie" on Saturday afternoon.



It was mostly rubbish, though I did laugh a few times (it was superior to last year's "Date Movie"). Before the show, I misplaced my black ski mask. Damn. I love that thing. It keeps me nice and warm. If it's cold, I wear the hat. If it's bitter out, I put the mask over my face. I looked around in the bathroom and the lobby, but couldn't find it. I asked an employee at the ticket counter and he said he thought he had just seen one. He took out a basket that had a crapload of hats, mittens, and gloves in it. Mine was right on top. Nice!! I planned on going to "The Departed" on Sunday, but it was just too cold for me to wanna venture out for a 150-minute movie. Perhaps I'll get to it next weekend.

December 27, 1999 - Journal entry

It was Christmas this past weekend. I enjoyed having the last 3 days off. On Friday, Christmas Eve, I went to the Jim Carrey movie, "Man on the Moon". It's a biographical movie based on the life of "Taxi" star Andy Kaufman. It was alright, but not very good and surprisingly unfunny. My feet were also somewhat cold during the show, but it didn't matter since I wasn't really enjoying myself, anyway. But it kept me busy on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Day, me and Zoe and Dori went to the Schofield house to have lunch with Cathy and Rick and Max. The girls made an appearance later in the day. I had a good time there; opening presents and visiting.

Then on Sunday, I had Shanon come out from Lewiston and we went to Wendy's, Wal-Mart, and Target. I also gave him his presents. His gifts for us are at Art's place.

My peace of mind lately has been interesting. I go to work, take the dogs out, have supper, watch some TV, take a bath, and go to bed. On weekends, I can do what I want. And all this is fine with me. I don't really feel that I am missing anything. When I have no places to go, my favorite things to do are to take a warm bath and lay down in bed. In the past, I felt that I should go somewhere and meet people and such. Now, I don't really have the desire. This has to do with my laid-back attitude and the fact that I don't HAVE to do anything. There's nowhere I need to go, no one I need to see, no goals that absolutely have to be done. I'm exaggerating a bit, but I do have a choice in all things. I choose to go to work. I choose to do virtually everything that I accomplish. Only rarely will I do anything that I don't want to. I remember as a youngster, my parents telling me from time to time that I would sometimes have to do things I don't want to. But I can't really recall the last time I did something that I really didn't want to at some level.

There is also the fact that I don't look at life as so many years and then you die. I know that I existed before I became Thomas D and that I will continue to exist long after. So I may not be as compelled to have kids as others who think that all they get is one life and out. I know that I probably have had offspring in the past and/or the future, so having them right now is not necessary, although sometime in the next few years I may choose to do so. Everything is now, and in this instant, I don't want to take care of a child. In the future, I may. In the future, having children is, like everything else, possible. But, in this instant, it is not a concern. Ask me about it next year.

That's all for now. It's almost 6pm. Time to take the dogs out, get a bite, get some gas, watch some TV, take a bath...

Grandma Ruth

In March of 1993, I got a call from one of my parents that my paternal grandmother had had a stroke. She was in intensive care at Winona's community memorial hospital.



I was surprised, but not shocked (she was in her early 70's). A few hours later, I headed down to the hospital. My dad was there as was his friend, "You Can Call Me" Al. They were both in fairly good spirits. They said that grandma was just around the corner. I headed over there and saw her sleeping about 15 feet away. I'n not sure why, but I didn't get any closer. Maybe I was afraid to. Maybe I didn't want to see someone up close who could be on the edge of death. After a moment, I went back to the waiting room. A couple of my brothers arrived shortly thereafter as did my uncle John and his son, Andy. One of the kids had the idea to walk over to Fleet Farm to get out of the hospital for a spell. So, me, my brother, Mike, and Andy walked the 6 blocks to the store. We basically just browsed, joked around a bit.

On the walk home, I thought a bit about what was happening. I was awfully close to Grandma Ruth. I usually visited her once or twice a week. She had been widowed in 1975, so was quite accustomed to living alone. At the time, she was living in an apartment just 9 blocks from the hospital. I typically would bike or take the city bus to her place (I didn't have or want a car at the time).

Once there, we would talk. I'd read the paper and then sometimes walk down to Kwik Trip to pick up a slice or two of their pizza. I would leave and try to make it back to her apartment as soon as possible. I'd go down the hill in the back of the complex, run across the highway, and still basically be running by the time I arrived at KT. I made my purchases and walked quickly up the hill. I would usually make the trip in 8 to 10 minutes. She almost always wondered how I made it back so fast. We'd then watch some telly (stuff like the sitcom "Perfect Strangers")



and I'd leave at around 9pm. In the weeks before she had the stroke, I hadn't visited as much. I was starting to become depressed and didn't really want to burden my grandmother with it. Plus, I thought I might be able to solve the problem by spending more time on my own. A few days before her stroke, I did see her with a couple of my brothers. I told her I was sorry I hadn't been by lately, but that I would stop by before I went to Florida the following week (my stepdad was taking me there for 5 days). She said that was fine and all was well.

Once back at the hospital with my family, my dad said it was fine for us to leave, that not much would be happening that night. There was the possibility that she wouldn't make it, but also a good chance of recovery. I began mentally preparing myself for the fact that she might not make it, however, just in case.

The next day I went to my college classes and then headed home. I laid on my bed and did some homework while listening to the cassette of Elvis Presley's "The Million Dollar Quartet".


(It's fitting that I was listening to music that was more from my grandma's time than my own. To this day, that recording always takes me back to that day).

I got a knock on my door. It was my dad, my mom, and my mom's twin girls (who were 5 at the time) from her 2nd marriage. My dad had a serious look on his face. He said that he hated to tell me, but Grandma had passed on. He broke up as he told me. My mom gave him a hug. The girls had a look of concern. I was alright with the news. My dad told me that the funeral would be in a few days. My mom then told him that I had planned to go to Florida with Phil, my stepdad, in the next couple days. I thought about canceling the trip, but my parents were fine with me still going to sunny Orlando. They said I spent time with Grandma when it counted, when she was still alive. The funeral would've been a nice way to say goodbye, but I had never been to Florida and was looking forward to it bigtime.

A few days later, my dad said that his brother, John, finally broke down when he saw his mother's body at the funeral home. I thought about Grandma quite often while I was in the Sunshine State. I knew she was fine with me going and managed to have quite a good time considering the circumstances. I did miss the chance, however, to go to my first funeral. Little did I know that my only other grandparent would pass on almost exactly a year later and that again I would have to miss it due to extenuating circumstances.

A Winter Weekend at the Movies

I haven't been to the movies too much lately. I sure as hell wasn't gonna see the Ben Stiller kiddie movie, "A Night at the Museum" or Will Smith in the "inspiring" "Pursuit of Happyness". I did go with Shanon to "Children of Men" a couple weeks ago.



It told the story of a near-future world in which the entire human race is sterile. You know what means, a society that is winding down, a world in which humans will not exist much longer. Quite a powerful movie with some incredibly long takes that really made you feel like you were there. After the flick, Shanon lamented the possibility of such a scenario actually occuring.

This weekend, I will be returning to the cinema in force. I love spoof movies such as the "Scary Movie" franchise, so am looking forward to getting some laughs from "Epic Movie" (in one of the scenes sending up "The Chronicles of Narnia", our heroes take on, not the White Witch, but the White Bitch. They also make fun of "Borat". Nice!!)

Then it will be time to see some serious (read: Academy Award-caliber) flicks. I think I'll start with a movie I didn't get to last fall. My wife saw it with her friend, but I just wasn't up for it. It seemed a tad too violent for my tastes. But now that it's been nominated for Best Pic, I'll finally get around to checking out "The Departed". By the way, I know why it has that title (Please go to the next paragraph if you don't wanna know. I'm serious. It kinda spoiled it for me when I found this out. So, uh, see ya...) It's called "The Departed" because all the major characters die in it. Cool, huh?

I also might be up for seeing the out-there adult fantasy-fable called "Pan's Labyrinth" as well as Cate Blanchett in "Notes on a Scandal". If I'm not totally spent after that, there's also "The Queen". I'll give you my reactions next week. Man, do I love the movies...

Lyrics to one of my favorite Adam Sandler songs

Corduroy Blues

When I was a boy
There was no limit to what I could eat
Shake after shake after shake after shake
Followed by all kinds of red meat

Metabolism runnin' around so fast
My body never gained no weight
That pissed off all my Momma's friends
And made my big-boned sister irate

But now I'm a man
And all that frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone
I'm too embarrased to remove my shirt

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother fucker outta me
And all them cookies I been munching lately
My feets are becoming difficult to see

I believe it was my Daddy
Who led me to this eating disease
By calling me "The Little Candy Ass"
When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese

Or maybe it was my Momma
Who got me addicted to all the wrong foods
Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
Would I get to see Momma's good moods

They said eat this, they said eat that
To stay skinny there was no chance
And now when I walk I hear corduroy
Even though I ain't wearing pants

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
(You fat fuck, You fat fuck)
Made a fat mother fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
(You fat fuck, You fat fuck)
Made a fat mother fucker outta me
And all that ice cream I been eating lately
My chins alone weigh 203

The diet starts tomorrow!

I have a grapefruit for breakfast
For lunch a bowl of white rice
Dinnertime it's a saltless potato
I ain't allowed no spice
If this diet's gonna work
Tonight I can't eat no more

"Just go to sleep," I say to myself
As I close the bedroom door
Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
My belly's hungry and achin'
Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet
Bring on the chips flavored with bacon

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother fucker outta me

The Streak

For several years in the late 90's and early 00's, I was quite healthy and didn't throw up once. I don't like throwing up, so I was enjoying not having to blow chunks. One of my favorite guilty pleasures during this time were chocolate covered donut gems.



However, I noticed that many times after eating a few, I would start to feel nauseous. Thankfully, I didn't upchuck and my stomach discomfort always passed. This happened at least 3 times where I was thinking I was gonna blow it, but didn't. I continued to buy the gems, ignoring the warning signs.

I bought the gems again one evening, had a few, and (surprise, surprise) started to feel a barf comin' on. I went into the bathroom and hung around near the toilet. I laid down on the floor in there for a few minutes. It had been probably 5, 6 years since I had last vomited. There was nothing I could do this time. It came back up and my streak was over. I remember on "Seinfeld", Jerry also had a long streak of not throwing up, but it, too, eventually ended.

Needless to say, I don't buy the gems any longer, but sometimes at the grocery store, when there's no one's looking, I will take a box off the shelf, open it up a bit on the side, and then take a big whiff. That shit smells good!

Fast Times at Barnes & Noble

I worked as a "bookseller" at the Barnes & Noble in downtown Rochester over the holiday season of 1997.



It used to be a movie theatre called the Chateau. I worked the register, or as it was called there, the "cashwrap" area, and stocked books. It didn't pay much, but it was full-time and I got to work with quite a few interesting people. One of my coworkers' name was Guy. It was always weird calling for him across the way when I had a customer who had a question that I couldn't answer. I was like, "Hey, Guy, could you please come over here?". The customers were probably like, "Of course he's a guy. Don't you know his first name?".

On a busy Saturday afternoon, one older man was purchasing a hardcover book as a Christmas present. He asked me to cut off the inside of the book jacket where the price is given. I was like, "Huh?" He said, "Did I stutter? Cut the price off, you Irish bug!" So I got a scissors out and did what I was told (I would have been a great Nazi...jk).

A couple of my coworkers mentioned in passing that Art Garfunkel came to the store from time to time.



They said he was seen at the Mayo Clinic quite frequently for some type of skin issue and he liked to stop in at B&N and get some decent reading material (Mayo was located just a few blocks from the book store).

One evening, I was working with one other guy and stocking books. A guy and his young son headed to the cashwrap. I went behind the counter and checked him out (no, not like that, you dirty devil!). I rang him up and he gave me his credit card. It said Art Garfunkel on it. My wheels started turning. Could it be him? The one who sang "Bridge Over Troubled Water"? One half of the groundbreaking duo, Simon & Garfunkel, that also sang, "Mrs. Robinson" and "The Sound of Silence"? I took a close look at him. He was quite tall (of course who isn't tall next to Paul Simon?). He had a hat on, but the hair I did see was quite curly. I asked for an ID and he showed me his drivers' license. The drivers' license showed him without the hat. He was a bit older than in his 60's heyday, but, damn, it was him alright. I continued with the transaction as if he were just Joe Schmo (I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable). He then left with his son and a woman (his wife, perhaps). Wow. I was a bit starstruck. I told my coworker what had just occured.

A couple months later, I was no longer working at Barnes & Noble (I was one of the holiday staff they let go in January of '98), but I did enjoy the time I was there, almost 10 years ago.

Games

My dad was a child of the 50's, so he grew up playing different games than those who were born in later times, such as me and my siblings. Nonetheless, the fact that my father enjoyed certain games made me think that there must be something about them. Otherwise, why would he continue playing them?

One game he loved to play with his cousins was Horseshoes (you've probably heard it said that, "Close doesn't count, except in Horseshoes"). They used to have "horseshoe pits" at most parks since it was such a popular game. It was mostly a man's game, however. I recall watching my dad and his family playing on many summer evenings. You had to be sure, though, that you weren't anywhere near the pit (the horseshoes were made of metal and quite heavy, you definitely didn't want to get hit by one). The best place to be was behind the players.



Another of my dad's favorites was Cribbage. He loved to play against his big brother, John. I never really understood how to play the game, but it's basically a card game in which you use a special board to keep score.



My dad had a pretty damn fancy cribbage set back in the day, one that he was quite proud of. I'm sure his dad taught him and his bro how to play when they were youngsters. "Bonanza" and "Gunsmoke" were the shit back then, so the two also liked to play cowboys and indians. As a youngster, "Star Wars" was my thing. I feel sorry for the kids born a few years after me. They grew up with Transformers and Gobots. Blah....

Wintertime Blues

Today has been declared the most depressing day of the year. A psychologist named Cliff Arnall bases this on several factors, including how bad the weather is at this time of year, the amount of debt accumulated over the holidays minus how much is paid off, the time since the holidays, the amount of time passed since New Year’s resolutions have gone south, and our general motivation levels.

It's funny because I was planning on staying home today (I just didn't feel like going in), but I thought, "What the hell? I'll take a shower and see how I feel". Needless to say, I'm at work now, but I was awfully tempted to just stay home.

Junior High

My 8th grade math teacher was a bit of a hard ass. He was also the school wrestling coach which probably had something to do with that. He was about 5' 7" and wore big, thick industrial-arts-type glasses. His name was Mr. Schmidt, but some called him Mr. Shit. What was most memorable about him is that when someone was goofing off in his class, he would ask that they either do 25 pushups at the front of the room or go to the principal's office. Most preferred to do the pushups.



It was always amusing to see a student (usually a guy) go up there and show off their physical prowess. I do recall at least one girl having to go up to do the pushups as well. One afternoon, he even challenged one of his students to a wrestling match.

In there, it's always Friday...

Tonight is my company's Holiday Staff Party. It will start with a social hour from 6-7pm and then a "Midwest Buffet" will be served. It will consist of "braised beef tenderloin tips, breast of chicken supreme, fresh sauteed vegetables & rice, tossed greens with assorted dressings, fruit & vegetable salads, and desserts". Ever since my early childood, I've been an awful fussy eater. And these days, when I'm watching what I eat, I want to truly enjoy the foods I do eat. So I plan to go and eat at Friday's (my favorite restaurant),



and then go to the dinner just as it's ending (tee hee).

I have done this before. In '99, I went to the wedding of one of my friends. During the reception, I had dinner at the Kahler, which was, excuse my French, "crap". So I headed to Wendy's and had a burger, fry, salad, and pop. I returned to the reception in a much better mood for some reason.

I did the same thing at the reception for one of my friends' friends in '97. That one was really shit since they allowed smoking and most of the bride's family and friends were Catholic. In case you didn't know, Catholics love to smoke (orally fixated, I guess).

Karaoke will be going on tonight from 8pm-midnight. Somehow, I don't think we'll stay that long...unless they let me sing, "Smack That", that is.

My name-a Borat. I new in town...

Sacha Baron Cohen won a Golden Globe on Monday night for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical for his brilliant performance as "Borat".



Here is a partial transcript of what he said during his acceptance speech:

"I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say that this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian. Ken, when I was in that scene and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin, I thought to myself, ‘I better win a bloody award for this.’ And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: Death or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today."

Reality

I've always been fascinated by the notion that the world we live in is just an illusion. A few years ago, I was exposed to a theory which proposes that the universe is but a hologram.



If true, it sheds much light on previously unexplained (paranormal) occurences. Here are a few choice cuts:

"Aspect and his team discovered that under certain circumstances subatomic particles such as electrons are able to instantaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them. It doesn't matter whether they are 10 feet or 10 billion miles apart. Somehow each particle always seems to know what the other is doing. The problem with this feat is that it violates Einstein's long-held tenet that no communication can travel faster than the speed of light."

"University of London physicist David Bohm believes Aspect's findings imply that objective reality does not exist, that despite its apparent solidity the universe is at heart a phantasm, a gigantic and splendidly detailed hologram. Bohm believes the reason subatomic particles are able to remain in contact with one another regardless of the distance separating them is not because they are sending some sort of mysterious signal back and forth, but because their separateness is an illusion. He argues that at some deeper level of reality such particles are not individual entities, but are actually extensions of the same fundamental something."

"According to Bohm, the apparent faster-than-light connection between subatomic particles is really telling us that there is a deeper level of reality we are not privy to, a more complex dimension beyond our own. And, he adds, we view objects such as subatomic particles as separate from one another because we are seeing only a portion of their reality. Such particles are not separate "parts", but facets of a deeper and more underlying unity that is ultimately holographic and indivisible. And since everything in physical reality is comprised of these "eidolons", the universe is itself a projection, a hologram."

"If the concreteness of the world is but a secondary reality and what is "there" is actually a holographic blur of frequencies, and if the brain is also a hologram and only selects some of the frequencies out of this blur and mathematically transforms them into sensory perceptions, what becomes of objective reality? Put quite simply, it ceases to exist. As the religions of the East have long upheld, the material world is Maya, an illusion, and although we may think we are physical beings moving through a physical world, this too is an illusion. We are really "receivers" floating through a kaleidoscopic sea of frequency, and what we extract from this sea and transmogrify into physical reality is but one channel from many extracted out of the superhologram."

"Controversial new healing techniques such as visualization may work so well because, in the holographic domain of thought, images are ultimately as real as "reality".